I really hope this is okay to post this here. I apologize ahead of time if there's swears. :/ I'm 37. Roughly 6' tall. My job is heavy lifting 4-6 hours a day (50-80 pounds constantly). I posted in another subreddit too.
So last year, around June, I joined Weight Watchers and hit the gym up. I did a lot of running and biking as well. I went from being around 250 pounds to 205 pounds in about year. Fantastic! In May 2019, I had gone to the gym and did some squats. In the third set, I felt a pinch in my lower back. I thought I was doing it right and I probably was. Could have also been from my job. Two months later, it got so bad that I found out I had a herniated disc in my lower spine that was pinching my sciatic nerve. Three cortisone shots later, things are great. Still have the herniated disc but I'm able to go run and gym and everything.
August 2019 comes I find a lump above my penis. It didn't hurt or anything until a week later when I coughed. Come to find out I have a hernia. In September I get it fixed and I spend 7 weeks out of work, not able to do anything but walk and play video games. I have a nice scar from it too. I go back to work in October and decide to weigh myself. 215ish. Not that bad for being out for so long and not weighing myself for a while.
But now that I'm back at work, I just can't seem to find the motivation. I can't beat my depression that I have. I can't find the urge to go back to the gym. I just want to keep eating, which is what I mainly did when I was out from my surgery. I honestly try to do my best but then I see peanut butter and carrots or chips or other salty stuff and I eat. I feel like I'm a fat piece of shit. I'm up to 225. My body went from being decent in a shirt and could get away with wearing a tank top to my favorite hooded sweatshirt doesn't fit me. My stomach got bigger and lost any definition it had.
Between all this, my wife has been in and out of the emergency room since September with some intestinal issue and I recently found out my job's contract is over in February so I'm out of a job. Just more added stress.
I can't seem to get past this and I really need help. I don't have anyone that lives near me that can go to the gym with me. My wife had leukemia and has no urge to weight lift. I'm pretty much alone in this entire thing and it's so upsetting. I miss how I was before my hernia surgery. I miss going for 3-4 mile runs and hitting the gym up 3-4 times a week.
I keep telling myself I'm gonna start next week and then it just doesn't happen. I'm trying my best to push myself to start Jan 1, 2020. But part of me feels the depression is just gonna take over. I know that if you're trying to get back to things after a major surgery, it takes just as long to get back to it. But is there something anyone can recommend? Any help? Anyone want to be workout buddies and help push me? I'm honestly desperate.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/e8jdnr/i_seriously_need_help/
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