Hi all. This might be long but I need to share.
I can't believe it. In 2011 after being "fat" for my whole childhood, I made a decision to lose weight. It felt SO EASY once I made that decision, to lose it. But 8 years later, I'm back where I was. How did this happen?
ROUND 1 (2011): Went from 5'6", 155lbs to 120lbs through calorie counting and being really active (mostly running/cardio). I loved it. It was so much fun to be physically active. To watch my body change and see what it could do!
It was very very restrictive near "end" however. My lowest weight was 114lbs and I was constantly binging to exhaustion and always stressed about my weight. For about 6 months I tried to maintain 114lbs, seeing 115lbs as a failure. Trying to get to 110lbs. I think one day I had enough and it wasn't easy, but I started gaining weight and started to lay off myself a little, I finally found comfort in being who I was and just rolling with the weight-gain and stayed at about 130lbs. Okay cool, comfortable. I was going to the gym and eating pretty okay.
But then every so often, I'd noticed I was 5lbs up. So I'd go into some radical diet for a week. Declare some new diet I was going to try, proclaim to the world that this was getting "scary" that my weight was creeping up and that's not okay! I have to maintain it!
So in 2014 I developed chronic back pain out of the blue. From 2016-2019 I realized I have anxiety. I had a TERRIBLE job in 2016 that hit all my triggers. I started a business part-time (while working full-time) to distract me, and I developed even more anxiety due to schedule overload, which caused more flare in my back.
So I started drinking. And eating. Whatever I wanted. But still went to the gym, and GENERALLY ate well for a few weeks here and there until going back into a slide. "You're so skinny!" everybody would proclaim whenever I voiced concern about my slowly increasing weight. Don't say that to skinny people. Just don't.
Well in 2018, I drank. A lot. A. LOT. At LEAST every Friday/Saturday and often Sunday day-drink. Sometimes I'd drink on weekdays due to stress/pain and get drunk enough I'd have to call in sick the next day. This is when I saw my biggest fluctuation in weight gain. From 2018 to today, I gained nearly 20lbs. From Oct 2018 to March 2019 I was hitting the gym regularly and gaining muscle (hooray!) and feeling absolutely fan-freaking-tastic... but summer was a mess.
So here I am now. Denying how I'm looking and feeling, slacking on disciplining myself. I started going to the gym again a month ago and have started to feel great again. I'm working on quitting alcohol.... quitting binge eating...
I want to feel comfortable in my body again.
It's SO HARD to "start" again. Maintaining is pretty easy the first little bit - I "maintained" for about 5 years happily. But stress got the better of me. Don't let it get the better of you. Make the gym a habit. Make healthy eating a habit. A DAILY habit. Otherwise before you know it you'll be back right where you were.... maybe not now... maybe not in 2 years... but if you keep letting your discipline slide.... you'll be back at square one.
Posting this for accountability. I've been on this journey for a month now - gained about 6lbs over the holiday (waterweight) but feeling good overall. Loseit was a HUGE help 8 years ago and I'm here again. I joined 2 dietbets and am going HAM now.
You got this everybody.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/eh1k0u/30f_56_sw142_cw146_gw130_dont_be_complacent_this/
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