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Weight Loss for Everyone: Can you comment on your partner’s weight if they’ve always been overweight? Struggling with intimacy due to attraction (Potential NSFW text content)

Monday, December 30, 2019

Can you comment on your partner’s weight if they’ve always been overweight? Struggling with intimacy due to attraction (Potential NSFW text content)

Hi r/loseit. I’m a lurker in this sub and would love to seek guidance about a dilemma I’m in. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months now. Typical I-wasn’t-looking story so we started off as friends and slowly started becoming romantic. The only problem is I don’t feel attracted enough to him for sex due to his weight. We do “other things” but obviously that’s not sustainable long term. He thinks I’m just not ready to go further but doesn’t know it’s an attraction issue on my end.

That said, I met him at this weight so I don’t even feel as though it’s a conversation I can start. He is casually trying to lose weight but not putting real effort into it. His eating habits have not changed since I’ve known him and doesn’t seem to understand how many calories are in food. He walked 15,000 steps with no other exercise and said he can have Chick Fil A. He drinks multiple regular cokes with meals. He never goes easy on anything we go out- burritos with queso, a serving of mashed potatoes is a whole plate, etc. He said he’s gained 30 pounds this year (I met him after) so he’s aware of it but isn’t doing much to combat it. While I feel like I owe him an explanation of the lack of sex I feel like I can only answer that by bringing up his weight which may not be appropriate in this situation.

How would you all approach this situation? We both feel strongly towards one another and we all know looks fade so it would be a shame to lose our relationship over this but it is a hurdle for me. Should I say anything (based on advice here) I would absolutely be respectful, kind, etc of course.

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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ehvbli/can_you_comment_on_your_partners_weight_if_theyve/

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