Any way i can break this cycle?

Every time i try to lose weight. Every. Time.

I'm gonna calculate my tdee and stay below it

alright cool 1500kcal per day would be a 200 kcal deficiency and I'll run every other day. This is healthy!

binges 3500kcal on day 4

"ok ill not purge, ill stay at 1500 from tomorrow and be fine"

binges 3500kcal again for 3 more days, net gains a few kg

shitshitshitshit

doesn't eat for 5 days, binges afterwards, vomits it up, and continues not eating.

back at the kg i started at

Seriously what's wrong with me? I wanna lose weight healthily it can't be that hard.

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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/egyeov/any_way_i_can_break_this_cycle/