Feeling very discouraged, disordered eating habits are really hurting me. Advice and words of encouragement would be nice

Last year I lost 35 pounds. In a year I’ve gained 15-20 of it back. Years of figuring out when I was full and hungry went down the drain when I got a job that only had 5 minute lunch breaks. It didn’t even matter if I was hungry because there was only an hour time window where all employees were allowed to eat.

Last night I literally cried myself to sleep because I wanted to eat but knew I wasn’t actually hungry. I’d already eaten 2000 calories. Tonight I’m doing the same. I’m done telling myself “just one more time.” I’m really going to miss Panda Express, but I can start making it at home again.

My problem is I like eating large quantities of food. Trying to minimize how much I eat just really really hurts me mentally. Especially during stressful times- this semester has been really hard for me and food is instantly gratifying. Also, eating food that tastes gross sucks.

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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/e5coiw/feeling_very_discouraged_disordered_eating_habits/