So…growing up, I was almost always a chubby kid. Pretty much as soon as the pandemic hit (dec 2019) I began losing weight. This started off well-intentioned however resulted in a pretty severe ED that I am still trying to keep in check. I started at 240lbs, and today am ~130lbs.
Have you ever seen those movies where the girl loses the weight, ditches the glasses, gets a new wardrobe, and totally turns into a different person? It was like that for me. Sometimes it feels like a modern-day Cinderella story. Just more goth. And hungry.
Now—in the hopes that I will not come off as a vapid soul-sucking attention whore—I present to all of you a total first-world problem. How the hell do I get these guys to leave me alone??? I was swept away at first, until I had to tint my windows because I got followed home 3 times in the span of a couple months. What do I need to say? I went from having a good balance of male friends to barely being able to keep any due to…my newfound ultra hotness. I guess. How do I navigate my friendships with men?
Perhaps this is just another coming of age situation wherein I need to stop caring about my male friends’ feelings and just be firmer, but my “I’m emotionally unavailable, not interested, don’t see you that way but it isn’t your fault” responses don’t seem to be working. This is becoming a genuine issue for me. I don’t have a lot of experience rejecting people.
A part of me is scared to be firm and assertive with these men, specifically because I truly value their friendship. I don’t want to ruin our friendships by putting my foot down or creating distance. I am a very blunt person, but I try to be gentle with feelings. For reference: the majority of my social circle is 25-40 due to my job. Although every guy I become friends with in college seems to try me too. But that seems to come with the age.
Another part of me is angry. I’m having a very hard time making new friends, because I am quite introverted. I’m frustrated that ever new male friend I make seems to always roll over into a crush. I miss having genuine emotional connections with men.
PLEASE HELP.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/uuyodf/how_do_i_19f_deal_with_all_of_this_new_attention/
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