I don't really know who cares or who needs to hear this, but I wanted to share something with you guys to maybe help inspire you.
Growing up, I've been surrounded with fitness. My parents both were Beachbody coaches and they had very strict diets and very strict workout programs they would follow. I would never join, as they never forced these things upon my siblings and I, but I have been well aware of the things I needed to do if I wanted to be fit.
As I continued to grow older, my parents fitness starting falling out. One started getting addicted to alcohol and the other formed a really bad habit of binge eating, and this change was never good for anyone.
So middle school starts, and I have gained a few extra pounds. I wasn't fat, but I also wasn't skinny either, and doing anything related to fitness was a struggle. As my diet consisting of junk and my habits of sitting around continued, I started gaining more weight.
High school starts, and I get very insecure about my body. I tried my best to cover up my body as the realization of my back fat comes into play, and I start hating the way I look and feel. It got so bad to the point where it would trigger panic attacks and I had really bad anxiety. When this happened, my parents decided it was best to switch me to online schooling, which I did for about a year.
This was probably the worst stage of my life I've ever been in.
Since I was doing all of my schooling online, I would stay inside all the time. There was nowhere for me to go, and my friends starting falling out as I distanced myself from everyone and everything. My depression got so bad, that it was all I did was stay in my room and do absolutely nothing.
I would fail my classes and go on my phone as I let my whole life fall apart. My self esteem was the worst it's ever been and honestly, I don't understand to this day how I ever got out of that fog.
But when we moved states and I was forced to leave my whole life behind, I started to realize just how bad things have gotten, but I still didn't have the motivation to do anything about it. My depression was still at an all time high, and I still hated every part of my body, inside and out.
But getting settled a year later, which is where I'm at now, I am completely 100% ready to start working on making myself better.
I got put into a PE class recently, as I'm only a junior in high school, and I think this was exactly what I needed in order to put my foot in the door.
The first day was really hard for me, and I felt light headed and woozy after class. But today was my second week in, and even though I was still sweating like crazy, I didn't feel like I did on the first day. Today I felt... good about it.
And when I got home today, I sat on the couch like I would normally do, and I got on my computer and just sat there as I let the images and the words on the screen fry my brain as I fell deep into a void of nothingness. Then there was a small voice inside my head that told me to look up different weight loss stories, so I did. I went to YouTube and looked at different stories and I listened to what people had to say about losing weight, and it made me highly motivated.
Now, this isn't the first time this has happened, where I motivate myself like this and tell myself that I'm going to change (but never do). I always ended up closing the tab and continuing on with my scrolling.
But today was different, as I went to my favorite workout trainer and picked a workout program she has.
I did day one, and even though I already workout out today from my gym class, doing it for a second time today felt amazing, as I've never done this before.
Today is the day I want to change. I keep telling myself this, and I know it's going to be the hardest thing I'm probably ever going to have to do, but if I just keep the image of the girl I want to be in mind, it's going to be totally worth it in the end.
Like I said, I don't really know if anyone cares about this, or if anyone actually made it this far, but I really hope that this helps inspire some people :)
If you want, feel free to message me about any questions, or even if you're looking for a workout partner <3 I'll be here for anyone who needs, or if you just don't care, then disregard everything I said.
But I hope and pray that everyone can achieve the goals they set out for themselves, just as I'm determined to do myself.
K, I'm ending this now.
Bye :))
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/s3k67r/so_im_starting_my_journey_today_and_i_hope_this/
No comments:
Post a Comment