Howdy. I’m 20/F/5’4” and I am terrified of everything and anything that has to do with my weight.
I’m a college student and I eat out like every single day because I am a pretty social person. I struggle to buy my own groceries because I don’t have a car and there is no place to walk to get some. Plus, I’m never really home because I live off-campus and find it easier to spend my entire day on campus with friends or visiting their on-campus housing.
I know I’ve gained a ton of weight. I feel maybe 20+ pounds heavier since starting college on campus. I have yet to weigh myself because I am TERRIFIED of that number on the scale. I remember coming to college that I was about 175 pounds and now I am so mortified about possibly being in the 200s.
I’ve lost weight in high school (pretty unhealthily) 170>130. But gained it back my junior year. I learned that counting calories can be a scary thing and I am also scared of having to go through that again, even though it “worked.”
This morning I tried putting on my jeans and they no longer fit me anymore. I freaked out. I need to do something about this.
My moms comments about my weight feel the worst though. I know she is trying to help me, but her encouragement for me to eat healthy and move more honestly just makes me more upset and makes me want to eat more and just feel bad about myself.
I live RIGHT next to the gym but I hate that I’d be working out and sweating buckets in front of people I go to class with. I’ve gone a few times, but not consistently because of fear of seeing people and comparing myself to them. (Most people there are student athletes)
I just feel so hopeless. I desperately want to feel and look healthy but I refuse to take the steps that I need to take to do so. I’m sick of being overweight. Wish I could be optimistic.
Where can I find the discipline and motivation to start living a healthier life?
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/sbxh1h/what_is_holding_me_back/
No comments:
Post a Comment