I am someone in my early 20s. Always the fat kid with a dark skin in an entirely fair skinned family except for my dad. Grew up being body shamed and sidelined by family, friends and society despite being an over achiever. When I was 10 years old, the body shaming got to me very badly when my mother locked me in the room when a guest came over and told me that she was embarrassed of how I look compared to my beautiful, skinny and fair skinned younger sister. I developed eating disorder and lost some weight but have gained it back now during college.
Fast forward a little over a decade, I just found out that my boyfriend ( in a relationship for nearly 10 years) has been screwing that beautiful sister of mine who grew up to be very sexy and witty. The worst part is that my mother knew this all along and my sister, my boyfriend (ex now) and my mother took me for a ride for nearly 3 years! Their collective defence : “ You are very dry and ugly, they are both sexy and witty together. Do good for the family. “
I do not feel bad about being called ugly. Being ugly is fine by me. If there was no ugly, how would you appreciate the beautiful? But I feel a terrible pain in my chest and knots in my stomach every time I think of how they lied to me for years. My own blood family. All those times I booked my sister flights to the city my boy friend was working( she studies and he goes to work often in the same country) because my mother told me to. 😅
Anyway, feeling better after ranting here. So, I am going to start today. Will post here often because I want someone to keep me accountable. People, I have a lot of shit to wade out of!!
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/f3muj7/ugly_but_none_of_that_ugliness_will_drown_me/
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