When I graduated from college in May I was absolutely miserable. I was at my highest weight at 188lbs, none of my clothes fit and I felt like a huge failure. Food was my comfort and the only bright (but simultaneously torturous) part of my day. I never enjoyed anything I ate, I just inhaled it and then felt shame for inhaling food. And then I would repeat the process.
I came home from school in mid May and I looked in the mirror and I realized that I couldn’t tactfully pose this away: I had gained weight and I didn’t like how I looked. I honestly barely recognized myself. So one day, I took a deep breath, stopped being terrified of what the scale was going to say and accepted my reality and I stepped on it. 188 lbs. I remember talking to to my mom about my goals and I said “Mom, I have to lose at least 35 pounds. I don’t know how I’m ever going to do that.” Id never been able to lose a significant amount of weight before. And she told me to take it day by day, little by little.
And that’s what I did! I just woke up that day and made a change. 1200-1400 calories daily (erring on the 1200 side) for months. I started going to the gym 4-5 times a week and even though I had no clue what I was doing, i’m sure the endless cardio sped up the process. I learned to lift weights, and found joy in doing so. I learned what foods keep me full and energized and what foods don’t, and because I was eating so much less through sheer willpower and determination to change how I looked, I started to learn other ways to regulate my emotions and anxiety.
I did the thing I thought was impossible. 35 pounds down seemed like some unreachable number I’d never see looking back at me on the scale. I took the lemons life gave me and I made some fucking lemonade, and it is absolutely delicious. I’m not done yet, but hitting this goal proved to me that I have what it takes inside me and always have. I don’t really know who that 188lb girl is, physically or emotionally, but I’m so glad to be leaving her in 2019.
TLDR; Before I started I said to my mom: I probably need to lose 35lbs, that seems impossible. Yesterday, weighing in at 152, I’ve lost 36. I made the impossible possible all by myself. And I’m so happy and proud. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year everyone!!
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/eewml6/sv_finally_hit_the_35lb_lost_mark_and_actually/
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