Does anyone else find that they “reward” themselves when they do well? I hit my lowest weight in 2 years this morning and was feeling really good. I’ve been struggling the last 3 weeks, but found my groove again the last 4-5 days and was ready to have a good week. I even brought my gym stuff to work so I could go straight there. But then at the back of my brain was a voice, saying “what if you just bought a cookie at the cookie place right by your bus stop and then went home & ate it & ate everything else in the kitchen?”. Stupid lizard voice won out, and I feel like I barely put up a fight, and now I’m feeling crappy. I feel like I justify it by thinking about how well I’m doing. But nothing can justify the shitty feeling and the 2+ pounds that are sure to be on the scale in the morning.
I definitely have binge eating tendencies and am currently looking for a therapist to discuss these things with. I almost feel like I can’t fully relax if I’m not stuffing my face, if that makes sense. I’ve definitely tried non-food ways, for example yesterday I took a whole Sunday to myself- went to the gym, did meal prep, watched like 10 episodes of Netflix, did a face mask. And yet because I didn’t binge, I don’t feel like I truly “let loose” and “relaxed”.
I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking for with this post. Just a place to vent and see if anyone else feels like this, I guess.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ebrtot/selfsabotaging_at_my_most_successful/
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