On October 22, 2020 I started my weight loss journey at 247 pounds. I was 24 years old and just under 5’6.
I lost 20 pounds before that (my all time high was 266.5 in 2019) but couldn’t stick to anything. Every time the scale fluctuated I would get discouraged and give up
……so this time I put away the scale for good and picked up a spreadsheet
(I actually got the idea from a few posts on this Sub of people who did those 100 or so days at a time).
For 880 days I’ve obsessively tracked every single thing I’ve eaten. The good days, the bad days, and the ugly days.
(I’ve went as far as keeping my grocery receipts and making sure everything on them was tracked before I go grocery shopping again).
I combined CICO with Keto and Intermittent Fasting.
I never hesitated to log an increase in my weight if I had a bad day or week.
Every few days I would calculate my deficit and use that to estimate a predicted weight (which I would then use to calculate a new TDEE).
I’ve reduced my TDEE by 350 calories since I started
When I started I was in a 2XL pair of shorts (44 to 46 inches).
Today I’m wearing a medium (32 to 34 inches) in the same exact style and brand.
The embarrassing incontinence issues I had for years have gone away completely.
I’ve gone down one shirt size from 2XL to a snug XL (I have a big upper body genetically).
I was at a family members house and got tempted to weigh myself.
Their scale from at least the 1980’s to mid 1990’s.
(The scale I started on is at my parents house 200 miles away. I moved out a year and a half ago).
My estimated weight after 880 days of logging and data puts me at a range of 175 to 180.
…..but this scale flashed 224 🫢🫢🥺🥺🥺
An EIGHTY THOUSAND calorie difference in the total deficit in my spreadsheet
Only 23 pounds down from where I started 🫣😨
I won’t know for sure until I get to my parents house next week and weigh myself on the scale I started on at the beginning of this journey but needless to say I’m sick to my stomach.
But at the same time I swim in so much of my old wardrobe. I also get cold so easily now.
All my old winter coats looked absolutely ridiculous on me they’re so huge. I have a pajama shirt that hangs down past my knees.
My old dress clothes are too big to even wear.
My old shirts hang down past my butt.
I can now roll around the mattress that used to be uncomfortable and too cramped space wise.
My ankles are now extremely bone-y as is my collarbone. The bones in my wrist almost poke out.
I have like knee dimples. Little holes in my knees where my muscles are building definition where it used to all be fat. They kind of look like dimples, which is weird.
My body dysmorphia has been pretty bad as well on this journey. Despite all the above I haven’t been able to see a difference in the mirror and honestly just don’t know what I look like. Every reflection or look in the mirror shows a different person than before.
(The last photo I have of me before gaining all the weight was me at 193 at my high school graduation at 18 almost 9 years ago).
I’m sorry for the long post. I just could really use a different perspective right now. I just can’t see or understand how even an old scale could be THAT far off.
