I’m really proud of myself for how mentally and physically healthy I’ve been over the last month or so. It means far more to me than any scale number.
As someone with a past of disordered eating, it is hard to deal with needing to lose weight for health reasons while wanting to maintain my mental health. The last time I seriously lost weight was in 2012-2015. I lost over 100 lbs, was restrictively and unhealthily Paleo (not putting down Paleo, I was just following it in a toxic way), and hated who I was as a person. Despite everyone complimenting my weight loss, it was a painful time. I cried almost every day. For years, I was afraid that my any form of weight loss would be a repeat of history.
But so far, it’s been a positive experience. I’m eating plenty of calories (around 1800-1900), eating a true variety of foods, cooking for joy, and exercising to feel good. I have a goal but I’m not punishing myself. I’m tracking what I eat but it’s just matter of fact and brief, not something that I dwell over for hours. I feel energetic and joyful.
I have a long way to go to get to 200 lbs, but I’m feeling hopeful instead of fearful. I started at over 300 lbs in Spring 2021, have been floating around 280-290 lbs since January 2022, and I’m proud of myself for being able to maintain that weight loss instead of being disappointed in the plateau.
I know success on that the scale can feel fulfilling, but feeling genuinely content losing weight, having decent self-esteem, and not hating myself means the world to me. True NSV.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/x4gm7e/nsv_losing_weight_holistically_as_a_disordered/
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