I have been so good and so consistent. I have never, in my life, been so consistent with everything like I have been this, but just when I thought it was doing well, everything fell apart at an annual checkup.
My cholesterol was up year over year—by a lot. I’ve lost 30lbs since my last appointment (5’5 F, SW 192, CW 160) and went from being completely sedentary to working out 3-5 days per week. The result shocked me, but I think I’m okay with that.
But, my blood sugar result has me shaking.
Fasting blood sugar last year was 84, this year it’s 81. A1C this time last year was 5.1, yesterday it was 5.6. Last year this time, I had only been eating eight for about a week!
I weigh everything that goes into my mouth, obsessively. I alternate periods of fasting. I run friggen miles on top of miles, HIIT and strength training. I can deal with losing weight slow (even though I’m barely getting 1400 calories per day and I see zero end in sight. I have so much subcutaneous fat on my midsection that’s not moving and don’t say it’s my diet—I eat the same thing daily and I’ve completely cut out sweets, breads, pasta, candy, juice and other things in favor of macros).
I just feel like I’ve tortured myself for a year for absolutely no benefit other than being able to slightly hide my midsection better in tights. I’m starting to feel like I should eat whatever I want and take whatever new medication science wants me to take because, over the last year, I have gained nothing.
Yes, this is a breakdown. No, I don’t know how to stop it. I really, really wish I did.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/xg35ek/in_tears_and_i_dont_know_what_to_do_next/
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