I am still trying to lose the last bit of weight but I notice now when I have a full stomach I get very anxious, especially if I know I went over my calorie limit. I have been eating small portions of food for a year so being full is a rarity lol. The thought of regaining weight scares me a lot, I usually eat very healthy and high protein, I also exercise daily.
The first time I threw up was 3 months ago when I was drinking with friends and we got pizza, I ended up eating a whole large pizza. I pushed aside the guilty feelings for like 30min but then we all did some cocaine and I had this overwhelming feeling of panic because I realised how much I'd eaten and I suddenly felt like I needed to get rid of it NOW so I went to the toilet and threw up. Could have been the coke I guess.
Next time was a family dinner, ate a whole roast dinner with a lot of carbs (normally I avoid them). the -panik- set in randomly and again I went to the bathroom and threw up.
Last week went out with friends drinking, got food. Ate a lot thinking I just wouldn't eat tomorrow (I find it easy to fast, but I realise this is a bad way of thinking. I just wish I was normal and able to eat more sometimes). I ate a whole garlic bread pizza and a wrap. I had weird sensation that I could FEEL myself getting fatter and suddenly felt sick, went into an alley and threw up.
Today I saw my brother (he is morbidly obese) he basically pressured me into eating too much, I know that's a poor excuse though. Suddenly realised that my life would be like his if I ate food like that (he is unemployed, no gf, never goes anywhere). Panic, felt sick, made myself throw up.
What the hell is wrong with me? Is it the anxiety/drinking/drug use/too much carbs? I don't think Im doing it on purpose really so its not bulimia, I don't want to be skinny. It's just the panic makes me feel sick. Does this happen to anyone else?
for ref I am 26 year old male, 6'2, 194lbs used to be like 330
edit. forgot the time it happened last year after seeing my weight on the scale but that was when I was still obese.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/xh3cvy/throwing_up_after_eating_is_it_an_anxiety_thing/
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