Hello everyone. I'm a 31 years old woman, my height is 173 cm and my weight 110/115 kg (I don't weigh myself often). I've been overeating since I was 18, that's when I slow and steady started gaining weight. In this span of time, I've been slimmer while breastfeeding my 3 children. I reached a healthy weight nursing the third, and as soon as he began to eat more and lactate less, I gained weight again.
It's so embarrassing, honestly. I don't understand why is it so hard to stop eating when I'm full. It's like a whole new me arises when there's food I like a lot. My stomach aches, my body is clearly telling me to stop, but the compulsive eating won't stop. Then I feel guilty and try to control myself, but it only lasts a day. I feel ashamed by my body, not because I don't find myself beautiful (I don't, btw); it's because it reflects my inner struggle to the world. Everybody can see the problem I have with food, and it's so so embarrassing.
I just wish eating would not be that important to me anymore. I'm not talking about developing ED (actually, it would be switching one for another)- I'm talking about not make a big deal out of this. I don't know how it could flow naturally, choosing better food effortlessly, looking for comfort in other activities, changing my mindset around food and my own body, etc. It's all too much, I feel overwhelmed. Which of course contributes to my state by overeating and biting my nails (another problem that's been with me since I was a toddler).
I really really hope it would change someday for me. And if you read this far and feel like me, you're not alone, and I believe we'll get out of this.
Thank you all for your time.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/xq0ink/im_tired_of_overeating/
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