26M, 6ft(1.68m) tall. SW 215lbs GW 180lbs CW 185lbs
I was hesitant to post this at first, as there are far more incredible stories of perseverance and intense weight loss here. Still, I figured I might as well say my piece, if for nothing else, but to show the appreciation I have for this community. Anyway, read my journey if you like, or skip to the bottom for a summary and progress pictures.
The Athlete
All my life, I was an active, skinny kid. I spent a lot of weekends and summers camping, mountain biking, hiking, rock climbing, etc. When I started 8th grade, my school required everyone to play at least some sports during the year; I ended up running cross country in the fall, wrestling in the winter, and playing lacrosse in the spring. My summers were also spent mountain biking and playing more lacrosse. I would also intersperse all these organized sports with side activities like ultimate frisbee, running, and weightlifting throughout the year. Suffice it to say that I was quite an active guy and ate as such. I never tracked my calories that intensely then, but I'd guess I was eating about 3,000 to 3,500 calories a day at my most intense. These were primarily healthy calories; I would stock up on lean meats, veggies, and lots of salads. During summers, my parents taught me how to cook, and I made tasty, healthy meals when school wasn't providing them.
I had a lot of arrogance about my physical fitness at the time. Most of my friends at school had similar activity levels, and the only overweight people I knew had only their muscle mass to blame. A lot of my self-worth had become wrapped around how much I could lift and how fast I could run a mile. When I went to college, I wasn't good enough to compete in any of my regular organized sports at a D1 level, but I still kept running, weightlifting, and eating obscene amounts of food in my routine. Now that I was in an environment where not everyone was an athlete, I started to look down on overweight people. This arrogant attitude that I feel shameful of now and a thought process that ultimately began hurting my progress down the road.
The Pudge
So it turns out alcohol has a lot of calories. It also turns out that having unlimited access to a high-quality gym is also not a regular part of adult life. Through college, I had found a girlfriend (now wife), exchanged my weed habit for a drinking habit, and began to let up on my intense workout routine. After graduation, I no longer had access to the fantastic athletic facilities I was so used to, so my daily workouts became semi-weekly, monthly, then non-existent. But I kept eating like an athlete, eating healthily but excessively. My dinners consisted of chicken, rice, veggies, and 12+ heavy beers.
I started to notice my muscle mass dropping, and while disappointed, I wasn't too surprised. But then my abs began to disappear. My wife would remark to others that "he had an eight pack when I met him, but now he's a bit more normal," which always got a laugh. I'd join in, attempting some self-deprecating humor, but it always stung. I had long clung to my athleticism as a core part of my identity, and it was slipping away. My arrogance around my fitness began to conflict with the reality before me. I switched between justifying myself to the mirror to crying in front of it. In my mind, I had failed. I had lost it all. So of course there was nowhere else to go but down. I stopped working out entirely, I drank more heavily, and I participated in more self-abuse. My morning routine often began with seeing myself in the mirror and cringing, then mentally tormenting myself in the shower by grabbing where my abs had once been. Instead of doing the things I know could fix the issue, I considered myself failed, so why bother? I might as well enjoy my beer and massive meals.
The Pseudo-Athletic Guy
COVID vaccines came around, with being overweight as a qualifying reason. My wife urged me to step on the scale and get my vaccine. The scale came up as a startling 210 pounds. At first, I was HAPPY, I had been trying to hit around that weight for a long time when I got really into weightlifting. Then I realized I needed to arch my neck over my belly pudge to actually see the number. Something about this event motivated me to change things.
I found this sub and began actually tracking calories, fully realizing the amount of food I was eating. "Healthy" food or not, the amounts were absurd. I switched to smaller plate sizes and controlled my portions that way. Alcohol was (and is) still a bit of a problem. I decided there were "no-drinking" nights, where no matter my stress levels, I would not drink at all. I also switched from heavy IPAs (there are like 250+ calories in a single bottle!) to white wine and seltzers.
I started working out again but found myself hating the long cardio sessions. I'd realize my lungs burning and legs aching to try and reach mile times I had no problems achieving in 8th grade. This led to more self-abuse, and almost led me to quit working out entirely. I finally switched to just weightlifting and was able to keep things more consistent that way. I still would beat myself up about how little I could lift now, but it was more bearable. Weightlifting had always been my version of meditation, and getting that back was soothing. I started longer walks with my dog and began seeing progress.
It took a long time with lots of ups and downs. I'm not back to where I was, and I don't think I ever will be. This whole process made me realize just how insane my schedule and habits used to be. I had to fix my mindset, my binary classification of athlete-vs-fat was affecting how I saw other people and myself in negative ways. I've learned to live in and appreciate the middle ground, and the effort that others put into these processes.
My Privileges
Seeing the amazing stories of transformation here, it's hard to consider my story as a difficult one. It had its own challenges that are unique to me, but I also recognize I had quite a few privileges that others here do not.
- I'm a young and tall male
- I went into this with knowledge and history of exercise
- I'm a decent cook, and often enjoy cooking and eating healthy meals (if sometimes to an excess)
Summary and Progress Pics
I used to be a 4-5 sport varsity athlete throughout high school and became a bit of a gym rat in college. After school, I kept the eating habits of an athlete but dropped all the exercise habits. Add in some alcohol and a good old pandemic, and you end up wondering how you got a beer gut eating chicken salads.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/si4ojs/from_athlete_to_pudgy_to_pseudoathletic_guy/
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