I have an undiagnosed but rather obvious ED (starve-binge routine) ad I have been struggling to lose weight in a healthy way but have recently gotten back on track.
My boyfriend and I are both obese and wanting to lose weight. He used to be more on the "I want to lose but don't really work for it" side until we started living together and I got serious again about getting healthy in a healthy way. Now he is more willing to work on it but can't exercise properly due to health issues (which he goes to a physiotherapist for but progress is slow). We both have a 6K steps daily goal that we both have been doing for a while.
I am admittingly rather obsessed with getting it as I have an 80+ day streak that I attached a lot of mental strength to. I feel as if the streak would break, so would my motivation to get healthy in a good way. I used to do it alone but my bf didn't like me walking alone at night so he would join me here and there until he started up his own streak continued streak two weeks ago.
I also used to try and give a bit of advise on how to eat healthier with small comments like "please don't finish the whole family sized bag of chips in one sitting" or trying out different teas so he could find something he really likes and to replace some of his sodas or Monsters with it. I knew to not push it too much and he is very aware of my thinking issues but he does his best to help me.
Recently we had to get new sweatpants as the old ones had worn out and he saw himself in the mirror for the first time in a long time (we don't have full body mirrors in the house). He was really disappointed with how he looks (the number on the scale did bother him a bit but never this bad as he could push it off rather easily but he also doesn't weigh himself often). He hates the stretch marks and how his stomach looks and said he really didn't feel like eating anymore and I almost had to beg him to eat something at the end of the day.
I know that the refusing to eat that badly is something I do when it gets bad so I fear that him living with me, even with me trying to not stay any toxic thinking things, is having a negative effect on him. Other than his weight he is still happy with everything and he still cheers me on but he is also starting to pick up things I do.
I also admit that I do give some not super nice comments on his snacking habits over the months but nothing super bad. (i.e. pointing out I have more Monster drinks left bc I don't chug it the same evening we bought it, not wanting a piece of his snack/eat ramen bc it has too many calories for my liking, etc).
He kinda knows that he should be losing slightly faster than me but it also used to be distorted. He does have more arm muscles than me and male, but he used to give the comment that he just has to cut out milk from his coffee and slow down on the snacking and he'd lose the same as I do with exercising. Not sure if he still thinks like this but he is eating less and more asking me to help come up with a snack when he is hungry but it isn't meal time.
Am I accidentally giving him the same mindset as me or is his reaction more on the normal side?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/r1gvyv/i_fear_i_may_be_giving_my_boyfriend_the_same_ed/
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