Tired of my mother policing my eating habits

I’ve been over weight my entire life.

For as long as I remember my mom has always had something to say when I eat. If I was craving something at night (like left overs) she would tell me not to eat. If I told her I was hungry she would say that’s good you will lose weight.

When I want to eat something, she will say “Just eat it without bread.” (This one triggers me the most because she says it a lot). If I want a burger, she would say just eat it without the bun. I barely even eat bread. She eats more than I do. She has toast almost every single morning. But she always thinks she’s giving good advice.

And the worst is when she tells me to stop eating. I have had a few occurrences (more than 3 for sure actually) where I’ve been around friends having dinner and she would tell me not to eat anymore. She would straight up tell me to stop eating in front to them. It was humiliating and made me feel terrible.

And I’m not the type to lose my appetite and stop eating. No, instead I would eat more. I’d do it in secret. Because that’s what I learned growing up. To eat shamefully without anyone watching.

I lost almost 30lbs since last year. And she still gives me a hard time.

Her friend saw me and told me I lost a lot of weight and that every time she sees me lately she feels like I lost more. And my mom said “no she hasn’t been losing anymore. She still has a stomach.”

And she has said this in front of at least 3 people so far. Completely discrediting me.

Just now I was eating a dessert and she called me out and told me one was enough. I wanted to grab the whole plate just to defy her.

I can’t do this. She throw her insecurities onto me because she can’t lose weight.

I feel like I’m gonna explode one day from her.

I never knew what it was like to have body positivity. I grew up hearing her complain about her body and her terrible eating habits. She would eat a small toast slice and say she ate too much.

I can’t stand it

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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/q0uhr4/tired_of_my_mother_policing_my_eating_habits/