The last two years have been pretty hard for me. An unknown autoimmune disease flared up, I broke up with my emotionally abusive narc boyfriend and of course, the pandemic happened.
I feel hideous right now. I’m 5’7 175 pounds, I’ve always been a healthy weight besides a stint with anorexia when I modeled at 21, I was at 100 pounds.
Now it’s incredibly hard with the crazy amount of fatigue and pain and symptoms I experience and my weight gain makes it even more miserable because I feel so unattractive. I have stretch marks on my thighs, my face has gotten much plumper and rounder. I don’t feel like myself, I don’t feel comfortable in my body.
I know on the grand scheme of things 30 pounds isn’t much, but to someone with body dysmorphia and a former eating disorder it really is. I can’t use calorie counters because I become obsessive. Working out is difficult because cardio flares me. I did a low impact bike ride on my sisters Pelton and I flared the next day.
I just want to be a healthy weight again, and fit in my old clothing and not be disgusted and my round face.
I’ve been on ADHD meds since 16 and I always maintained a healthy weight in college. I switched to Vyvanse in 2018 (I think?) due to Adderall making me not sleep.
I don’t know what to do, I’m 27 now and I need to figure this out because losing weight is going to only get harder and harder (my emotionally abusive ex who was a doctor would always remind me that). I’ve been thinking about going to the gym just for lifting weights or doing yoga and walking my dogs more, I can’t really do cardio as it makes me flare and I’ll get fevers and body aches the next day.
As far as diet, I really try my best to eat balanced. For a while I was conditioned to think that carbs are bad. But now I eat them. Some of my food is organic processed as I don’t alwAys have the energy to cook. Although my favorite thing to do sometimes when I do have energy is to get high and just cook (I’m a medical user). I’ve had my hormones tested, they’re fine..
Any advice or words would be appreciated. I feel very discouraged and I want to make a change
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/qi0w3x/i_gained_30_pounds_the_past_2_years_i_feel_gross/
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