I had been overweight my whole life. Got teased a lot as a kid for it.
When I was in my mid-twenties I decided to finally lose weight. I was out of my abusive family house and on my own. Worked with some friends to stay motivated. Went from 315 to 290.
Around that time my boyfriend moved in. I was super happy. He was my first love/boyfriend and I really thought he was my soulmate :)
He had gone away on a trip and got injured. When he came back he told me he was really thinking of proposing to me when he returned... But then said he wanted to wait because he always pictured marrying a thin bride.
I was pretty upset but stuck with it.
My first time losing weight now got twisted. I was losing weight for someone else.
Kept on exercising, mostly watching what I ate (still liked sweets).
It felt that the more weight I lose, the less intimate we became. It really started to mess with my head. When I would ask him about it, he would tell me that it is natural that the "passion" dies down a little when people become comfortable with each other and it wasn't me.
But, my self-loathing was already in high gear.
I got down to 150lbs.
And I kept telling myself, Okay. So I still have hanging skin, but I can look into surgery to remove it. Now was the time right? He was going to propose?
Things happened... and he told me that being an Atheist, I shouldn't want to get married, because that is all based on religion and stuff. And then after some time of that, admitted that he never wanted to get married to anyone.
Well. That + lots of other hard life events caused me to stop exercising. I stopped watching what I ate too.
I watched my weight go up. Told me; "Okay. I'll get back into it when I hit 200lbs again" ...hit it and it kept going up. I gave up.
In the midst of all this... I had a heart attack. It was a pretty scary moment. Took a long time to get back to "normal".
And even then, I didn't care enough to lose weight. Even though the doctors told me I should for my heart.
Years went by. Covid hit. Got more depressed. Gained more weight.
At the peak of Covid, I was at 350 lbs (..first time I'm admitting that).
I'm single. new great job, living in my own place. This is the time. This time I'm doing it for me and going to keep doing it for me.
At 330 now.
Have gone two weeks straight exercising 30 minutes almost every day (taking some breaks in between days).
Starting to eat healthier (Eating has always been a challenge for me).
Sorry for the long rant. I needed to get things out so that I can focus on myself. I'm done living on the sidelines of my own life. Despite how much I've hated myself most of my life... I really do want to live.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/qic0cp/weight_loss_journey_doing_it_for_myself_this_time/
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