For reference I'm 24/F/5'4.5", SW 136lbs, CW 104lbs.
I wanna start by saying that I've struggled with body image issues and my weight even since puberty (when I was 10 years old). At the time I gained weight really quickly and was overweight (before this I was at a normal weight). My highest weight was 160lbs but it dropped between 150-155lbs. I maintained that weight throughout my teenaged years. I was really upset about my weight and felt disgusting, ugly and fat. I was also going through a difficult time and I would often emotionally eat. I dreamed of being skinny.
When I started university at the age of 18, I became very stressed and unintentionally lost 14 pounds in a month (136lbs). I was happy about the weight loss and felt more confident in my body.
Fast forward to 2020 when the pandemic started. I kept seeing posts online about how many people were gaining weight during the pandemic. I live with my parents and sister and I noticed that they were gaining weight. What really scared me was that my sister who has been underweight her whole life was gaining weight. I was TERRIFIED that I would gain the weight that I was during my teenaged years as I felt truly horrible during that time. I also wanted to live my teenaged dream of being skinny. So during the fall of 2020 I decided to try to lose weight (my original goal was 120lbs). When I started I estimated my calories. At the time there was no scale in the house to use to track my weight and I didn't purchase one as I didn't want my parents to know that I was trying to lose weight (I ended up getting one later when the weight loss was noticeable).
Fast forward to now, and I lost too much weight. I'm underweight, my period has been gone for 7 months, my appetite is gone, my stomach is in a lot of pain, and I'm having health issues now. I'm an emotional mess and it's affecting my relationships.
My doctor has recommended that I eat 2500-3000 calories per day to regain my period. 2500 seems to be the common recommended amount for people with missing periods. The thing is, I'm pretty sure I ate around that amount when I was 136lbs! I'm ok with gaining some of the weight back but I don't want to gain all the weight back (or more) just for my health. It will feel like all my progress will be lost. I'm also scared of gaining more weight than intended as I've changed my eating habits (I have severely limited my liquid calorie intake).
TLDR: I lost too much weight and it's affecting my health. I have been told to eat 2500-3000 calories per day however I'm scared that if I eat that much I will gain back all the weight that I lost (or even more!) and all my progress will be lost. I'm scared I'm going to have to gain it all back for my health.
Edit: grammar
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/qk48r8/im_scared_im_going_to_gain_all_the_weight_back/
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