SW: 210 lb CW: 201.3 lb GW: 160 Long time lurker first time poster. So I 21f, started this journey about a month ago but wasn’t really into it these last couple weeks. Ive always worked out regularly but couldn’t lose anything due to very poor eating habits. I would go days without eating much, like barely a meal a day, of something usually pretty shitty and easy to eat, mostly because that’s just how I grew up, my mom always kept easy microwave foods for us to make ourselves because she was always working. A lot of trauma involved around my mom, but my therapist and I have been working through it and I’ve cut my mom off completely out of my life as of two months ago. Food was always something I could control whereas my home life wasn’t, so I leaned into food a lot which made me moderately heavier (yoyoing a lot) then my fellow peers. I lost a lot of weight when I was around 18 because I started smoking cigarettes instead of eating and just was never home to eat anything anyways. Now, I find myself slipping into wanting to just not eat, but I have found a love for trying new foods because it’s fun and I get to share the food with my boyfriend 22m. He loses weight in a second because he’s been training his body basically his whole life. I know this has been kind of a ramble but what I’m trying to get to is I have actually started thinking about what I eat, I’ve cut out almost all sugars (I have pcos, insulin resistance is a bitch) and only keep foods that I have to cook in the house. I’ve lost 9 pounds in a month and a half, and I’m still motivated, but I’m so terrified I’m going to stop trying, My adhd is terrible and I tend to drop things a lot. Im scared that I’m just hyper fixating now. (Im trying to get medicated because it’s what my therapist recommended but she’s not able to prescribe meds so I have to go through my doctor but they make it unbelievably hard to get onto narcotics which I understand but c’mon.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/q4a5wg/just_a_ramble_about_mental_struggles/
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