Just had a nervous breakdown. As someone who was always skinny, then gained a little weight and was size 4, then lost a bunch of weight in some unhealthy ways, and then equilibrated at a size 4 for a couple years, I realized today that I’ve been clinging onto my size 4 for too long. I bought a pair of bootcut jeans today, midrise, and they were super tight in the crotch. Same thing happened with a pair of size 4 skinny jeans. And these were vanity sized as well (Old Navy) so yeah, it’s pretty bad. The size 4 pants I’ve been wearing are getting old and stretched out and they’re high rise anyway so they hold my... gut
Last time I weighed myself I was 122 lbs (5’4”). I haven’t weighed myself for over a year because I was starting to get “obsessive” about it. But now I realize that that obsessiveness was important for me to maintain a normal, slim weight.
I don’t want to be here. I want to be slim. My fellow coworkers are slim (I’m a researcher). They all value their work over food. They know what they need to do to be healthy. My weight, and weight gain, makes me feel unintelligent. Food is taking over my life, and I thought that doing this, and eating intuitively, was the right thing to do. But now I realize it was leading me down an unhealthy path of overeating and even bingeing.
I know I need to do it, and it’ll mortify me to find out, but I need to weigh myself. And that’ll be the starting point to treating my body like an adult again. Not to be another resolutioner, because we know how that ends, but I’m done. I can’t be like this anymore and be the person I want to be.
sw: ???? lbs, 5’4”, gw: 115 lbs. Size 4, size 2 if we can make it. But not this. I can’t do this anymore and respect myself and expect to be respected
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/kon2sd/so_i_guess_im_a_size_6/
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