When I was little I was always a little bit over what I should be. On the cusp of overweight. I didn't notice it until one day during ballet I noticed the shadow from my stomach was more than anyone around me. I shrugged it off and when I joined my high school marching band in 8th grade I finally got to a good weight.
Around two year ago I discovered this sub. I found it interesting, but I was at a healthy 140 pounds so I kept scrolling.
Last year, my junior year of high school, I continued like normal when everything got shut down. I had already gained 15 pounds from the off season so I was around 155 pounds. Sure I wasn't getting exercise from racing around my 4 story high school but it was only a short break. A week. A month. So I kept eating. And eating. And eating. I started wearing mostly pajamas because I wasn't going out anyways, but I realized that my size 6 jeans no longer fit, I'm at least a 10 now. My comically large hoodies are no longer twice the size of me.
I got a VR headset for my birthday recently and was mortified to realize I got tired just standing playing games in the corner of my room for only 30 minutes. So I'm turning it around. This week I've started going on walks. Only a mile currently, but I know I can get back. I downloaded the lose it app. Turns out all those times I said "Oh I've barely eaten today" I had in-fact eaten more than enough. I didn't realize those peanut butter granola bars I would sometimes eat multiple of were 200 calories each. I didn't know that my several glasses of 2% milk were enough for a full meal.
It's only been 3 days and maybe it's just the placebo effect, but I already feel a little better. I'm not letting myself grab a mini Reese's from my mom's candy jar every time I walk past. I replaced my granola bar with a banana and I feel good I'm the kind of person who can do anything if I want it badly enough, and I want to fix my diet and fix my health. I want to be able to feel strong again, the hours I spent holding my horn up in marching band were replaced with reddit but can now be replaced with whatever activity I find that I can enjoy, whether that be an intense vr game or who knows what.
I know this post is going to die in new, there are so many others like it and my wording is poor but I'm making this as a reminder to myself. A way to hold myself accountable for my off days. I'm going to do my best to post something (hopefully mostly ups but I know progress isn't linear), every monday and not let this go.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/l2ee9w/im_finally_putting_some_thought_in/
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