Hi y’all so I actually gained this weight recently, before 6 months ago I have been successful in staying below 300 for almost 4 years. However I was still depressed and ashamed of my body at that weight. I never dropped lower than 275 during this time, I always explode emotionally and eat like crap. Or just turn a cheat meal into binge eating and regaining the weight I had lost. For me this time it was a break up, an episode of mild insanity (not actually but I was really messed up for a while had a lot going on etc etc...) and then being put on meds for my depression and ADHD (Zoloft 50mg and Ritalin 30mg) back in August of 2020. Since then I’ve been great but I also slowly started eating more crap, I got addicted to pop tarts for a few months, and then cookies, and now I can’t stop eating pizza rolls and hot pockets. Like it has seriously been 80% of my meals in the past 6 weeks. Since gaining the weight I have new aches and pains, my acne has gotten worse, I have heart burn all the time (probably the hot pockets and pizza rolls), I have trouble sleeping, and My daily activities have gotten more challenging.
I usually don’t eat until 1-2pm since I don’t wake up until 10:30 and get into work at 11, I take my Ritalin and drink coffee because I don’t get good sleep on the weekdays. On the weekends I sleep until 1-2pm and then eat when I wake up. I also have the issue of night eating, a massive bowl of cereal, or some hot pockets are usually my go to, I just feel so empty at night (lack of protein?). I also don’t really exercise, and live a relatively sedentary life, It’s uncommon for me go outside for more than 10 minutes, every now and again to walk back and forth to work and a few times a week to walk my dogs. When I wake up I go straight to work, at work I sit in a chair almost all day, and at night I’m usually in my room on my bed playing video games.
Every time I see myself shirtless in the mirror I usually say to myself “wow I’m getting fat” and then shrug and say “it is what it is”, “it doesn’t matter”, or “I don’t care”. I’ve stopped caring about a lot of stuff recently, it’s helped as much as it’s hurt. It feels like the “this is fine” meme. Anyway, I’d like to start improving my physical health now that I’m more mentally stable, so I can be healthy inside and outside.
I just needed to vent about this, people have seen me getting heavier and have made comments and I agree it’s unhealthy, and I have to do something before I have a heart attack. If you’ve read this far just know I appreciate it, and I’d also appreciate some support, advice, insight, and motivation.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/l2lps0/after_3_years_of_depression_binge_eating_and_self/
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