I've lost and regained my weight back thrice so far, this time it truly feels unachivable to lose the weight again. I feel seriously lost and depressed due to this.

Hey, I am sorry for such a downer of a post but I've lost and regained my weight back thrice over the course of 4-5 years.

Currently I'm 24m, 181cm and I weigh around 104kg.

My original starting weight was 108kg when I was 19years old.

Back then I lost the weight and went down to 77kg, regained it over the course of a year, lost it again till around 80kg, regained till 98kg and lost it again till 80kg, till now, where I've regained everything back.

I don't really know what I'm doing wrong, nor differently from back then.

This time it truly feels like I'm just not able to stick to CICO anymore.

I try so hard but I fail constantly.

What can I do to change?

Also please don't tell me to take a break of wanting to lose weight and to concentrate on my mental health first.

That's what I did before the last time I lost my weight, it didn't help at all back then. These kinds of comments are not of any help, I do appreciate the thought behind it because I realize it's coming from a kindhearted place, but I really just want to lose the weight.

I need help specifically with these aspects:

• being so hungry that I just can't take the time to calorie count

• immediatly feeling like the calorie counting for the day is useless if I eat something that I shouldn't have, thus overindulging once that mindset is reached (basically I'm a perfectionist who immediatly gives up if something isn't perfect, eventhough I've literally never, not once in my life done anything even close to perfect... really don't know why I have this trait as a chronically underachiver)

• simply not being able to CICO for even just a couple of day straight.

And finally,

• my stomach growls a lot, I've been to my GP several times for it but he says everything is normal, however this growling makes me extremely self conscious which is why I constantly overeat before meeting people, because I'm afraid that it might growl.

Furthermore I feel like the growling of my stomach is also kind of making me hungry when I'm not hungry at all. Which also makes me overeat.

P.S. I apologize for my bad English, upon rereading my text I realize how badly written it is. I hope you were able to understand the issue(-s) I'm talking about.

submitted by /u/ErenYaegersAbss
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/sn3l5p/ive_lost_and_regained_my_weight_back_thrice_so/