Comfort eating anytime I experienced emotional distress/sadness/disappointment/heartache has always been familiar to me.
Instead I went for a walk and spent time outdoors!
Truth is, I have been feeling disheartened, bummed, upset, frustrated, etc. (any negative emotion you can possibly think of).
I did so well on my practice tests and that's why I decided to go ahead and take it.
I've had such a tough journey in school. I failed a year and had to repeat it. Every summer, I had to fly back and retake exams. It sucked.
I graduated medical school 2 years ago and had been using that time to take my board exams. The first part (STEP 1) I passed (due to severe burnout and delays because of COVID), but barely (this was in January). Then I got extremely distracted/consumed by a potential relationship that did not work out. I was devastated and it had taken me months to move past it, tbh. During that time I was studying for this most recent exam. I had taken it on October 1st feeling confident. I will say that the night before I was feeling anxious and had trouble sleeping. But I felt okay when I took the actual test.
I'm frustrated because after a difficult year, I was hoping for some relief. I didn't want to study anymore. I was hoping I'd be done with that for a while and I could focus on my applications and getting good letters of recommendation for an externship that I've been participating in since I finished. I had one more exam that I'm required to take and I already paid for it and scheduled it for next month.
I have scheduled a trip to see my friends in Canada just to get a way for a bit later this month (tbh I don't think I want to forgo that. I'd like to get out of here for a bit. This would do me a lot of good).
I don't know what I'm going to tell my parents. I feel like I've let them down so many times. But I don't want to give up on my dreams for a medical residency. My end goal is still to become a child psychiatrist. I want this badly. I'm just frustrated though that, once again, there is another bump in the road.
I'm sorry, guys. I needed to vent all of my emotions out. Everyone else is moving on and progressing in their life. Another girl I know has already gotten so many interviews for medical residency already. I feel like I've taken a step back.
But after today, even though I feel the disappointment, I didn't wallow and comfort eat. I'm making a plan to pass this exam again, get the job of my dreams, and lose the 34 lbs I have left. Any time I have experienced a setback, I gained so much weight and I don't want to do that anymore. Life really does teach us to be resilient. I'm going to change my life for the better and in a few months, I know I will look and feel better. I will progress and be in a different stage in my life.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/q7nozh/today_was_the_first_time_i_found_out_very/
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