My journey with food, weight and my body

Tw// EDs, Abuse, Bullying, S****de

The past many years have been really very tough on me.

I'm a young teenage girl who's in 10th grade right now, and I'd like to post/vent here so as to feel safe and heard, since I'm anonymous here!!

I was always a chubby child ever since I was born, but I was never overweight or such, I was just cute lmao

Then came 4th grade and something happened I was abused by strangers at a party and this is the first time I'm stating this somewhere

All of them made comments about my body which lead to a lot of dysmorphia, and these were grown men telling me to I was underdeveloped and hence they couldnt have "fun" with me

Then, for job reasons, I had to live with my dad away from my mom, though she would come to visit us every week

This led me down the path of BED of binge eating disorder in 6th grade

I didnt want to be told I was pretty and such, and that was the year I received d***h threats, my "friend" taught me to self harm, and I got 27 love letters from an anonymous person

I'm a paranoid person with anxiety so this felt like the world just crashed down on me

So in 7th grade I was overweight, and I thought that by ruining my health, I made my situation better

Obviously that didnt happen and I was severely bullied to the point where I wouldn't go to school for weeks at a stretch (it happened twice)

I had got my period that year and by then, I was anaemic

Then I got bulimia, and I lost a lot of weight and my period all in 2 months

I got PCOD, I gained weight again and was bullied even when I used to get panic attacks and faint everyday

That's still something that happens a lot

After finally collapsing and developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome during Covid, while also being underweight, I got Covid

That was when I was taken to a doctor

Again I gained a lot of weight, but this time, I'm getting better at understanding that my weight doesn't define me, and neither do my looks

I'm still a bit in recovery, though my physical pain hasn't gone a lot, and some mental aspects like anxiety and sleep paralysis have gotten stronger, I'm much more capable now

I've decided that I now want to live a COMPLETELY HEALTHY LIFE

My height is 175cm or 5 feet 9 inches My current weight is 74kgs My highest was 83kgs and my lowest was 47kgs My goal weight now is 57-62kgs, wherever my body is comfortable I give myself a year to healthily lose that weight by eating right and drinking a lot of water and going for cycling a lot, as I have been this past month

I'm doing this, for myself and my health and for my future

I'm studying to be a science student now, and I plan on going to med school to become a paediatrician and counselor for kids, to teach them how to be healthy, not skinny

If any teenagers are reading this

please dont give into peer pressure

It ruined me a lot, and it's taken a lot of time for me to get a hold of my life again

Please just be active, eat right, and eat those sweets and that pasta if you want

Have everything in moderation

Just more of veggies, fruits, proteins, complex carbs, and healthy fats

And less of the sweets and simple carbs

Take care of yourself♡

submitted by /u/ZouisTaylor5SOS
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/qdct8y/my_journey_with_food_weight_and_my_body/