TRIGGER WARNING!!! lots of negativity around selfworth and self image.
ADHD strikes again... I just can't get around my mind. My brain doesn't want to go for a run so it is pulling out all the stops to keep me on the couch. Everytime I think I might be getting past the executive dysfunction I literally get bombarded with negative thoughts. Right now they're just floating around in the aether, writing them down makes them more solid. I don't know if it'll help me overcome them, but I feel like I have to put them down somewhere.
"It's so cold though, and inside is nice and warm"
"This is your first run in a looong time so it's gonna be painful and exhausting, you'll feel bad about yourself"
"Look at how fat you are, you just barely fit in those clothes, do you really want to go outside where people can SEE you!?"
"Every time you try running you get that calf injury, sure you're using a schedule by a PT now but that's not gonna matter, you're gonna get that injury again and be in pain. You're just setting yourself up for failure. Again"
"It's past noon, if you run now it'll be 1.30pm before you are showered and dressed again. You have so much other stuff to do. Just give up, you've wasted your time and now it's too late"
"You have so much weight to lose, one stupid little walk-run session isn't going to make a dent in that. It can't be done. It's too much. You're never gonna change anyway. Every time you try you are miserable and just end up fatter"
"Even if you go out and run today, you know your stupid ADHD brain won't be able to hold onto the habit. You'll break it sooner or later and when you do you'll feel horrible for failing again. Why put yourself through that?"
"If you manage to go out it'll actually be a big victory for you, but to anyone else it'll be the bare minimum. Even less than that. Your big triumph is sad to everyone else"
"It's sad that this is all you can do. It's just a little walk-run thing. It's nothing. You should do more. Look at how fat you are. You should be doing so much more. But you can't, can you? Oh maybe for one or two days. You could even last a week on that intensity. NORMAL PEOPLE INTENSITY. But then something will break, or tear, or bruise and you'll be forced to stop. Because you are so weak and out of shape and fucked up that barely minimal exercise is all you can do if you want to do it for a longer amount of time. PATHETIC"
"Look at how far you've fallen. You used to be able to do 10k's. You were doing strength exercises on the pole. Now you can't even hang statically from a bar for a few seconds before you start to slip. Think of where you were and where you are now. Feel ashamed"
"It's going to take so much time to get back to where you started and that was only halfway to where you want to be. You already feel like total shit and you are going to have to confront how you feel every day. You are going to feel fat jiggle and get marks from your workout clothes being too tight. You think it's bad now? Just wait until you have to look at yourself in the bathroom mirror every day. Sweaty and flabby and ugly and unattractive. Working your ass off for nothing. Being in pain for nothing. Feeling even shittier for nothing. All those things you use to stave off depression and try and manage your dopamine you're gonna have to give up. You are going to get so depressed you can't move. You'll want to die and everything in you is going to start crying out for your old coping strategies. You will only want to binge more and move less. And for nothing. You can't change. You never have. Those couple of years in your late teens were a fluke, nothing more. You got it all back and then some. You're just torturing yourself. Give up. There's no point starting something you're gonna fail at anyway."
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/q5t83l/ive_been_trying_to_get_up_for_a_run_since_9am_3/
No comments:
Post a Comment