I get it, you think food is gross.

I hate to come off bitter since I’m normally never like that, but in this situation I feel like I can’t control it.

I have someone in my life who constantly finds ways to bring up how eating is a chore, how they forget to eat the entire day, and even how needing to eat is obnoxious and gross to them. I understand that it has to do with their childhood, OCD, and ADHD, but every time without fail I get bothered and self-conscious because I couldn’t be more of the opposite.

Ever since I hit puberty and maybe even before then I’ve struggled with disordered eating, be it over-eating or intense restriction. One of my biggest insecurities regarding this is that I can’t NOT want to eat all the time, and I can’t NOT think about food or eating 80% of the day.

It doesn’t help that they’ve always been thin their entire life as well as naturally athletic, and it makes me feel like something is wrong with me for not being the same way. I don’t understand why I have to be this way and why I can’t just have an indifferent attitude surrounding food.

I have never “forgotten” a meal, and anytime I’ve skipped one I spent every minute anticipating the next meal so that I can finally stop starving. So it feels like a punch in the face every time I’m reminded that this person doesn’t even have to think about these things and can just be effortlessly thin.

I feel most defeated when I see them eating junk food without worry. I can barely make a plate of eggs without wondering if I’m eating too much and they can put away three slices of pizza and have cookies later that night and be completely fine. Meanwhile eating a single serving size of chips or cookies makes me feel like I’ll never get anywhere and I’ll always be stuck this way.

This was longer than I intended but sometimes I feel really down about this. I mainly wonder if anyone else has a person like this in their life… it would make me feel better to know I’m not the only one.

(And just for the record, don’t take this as me saying I wish I had an eating disorder so I could be thin. I WANT to be able to eat healthy amounts. Just in the moment I get caught up and overwhelmed, and feel like I would rather be on the other extreme than the one I’m currently in. Also, the person I’m referring to doesn’t necessarily have an ED and they are relatively well-fed and healthy as well as regularly active.)

submitted by /u/strawberrypasta
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/q4dhdq/i_get_it_you_think_food_is_gross/