Several weeks ago I had a spark of unwavering resolve to get fit. I was going to the gym 3-4 times a week for 2 hours each time, I was challenging myself to drink more water every day, and I was calorie counting. I wasn’t starving myself, but I was eating around 1500cal/day. I dropped 5lbs that first week. I legit was so happy and proud of myself.
I have ZERO idea what happened. One cheat meal turned into several, one missed gym session became weeks without stepping foot inside the gym. Obviously I was disappointed but it’s like all that resolve I had just disappeared.
I’m back to my starting weight of 148lb at 5’2. I don’t look fat with my clothes on, but I feel disgusting. My arms are fat. After I eat I look second trimester. I have less energy than when I was working out and eating healthier, worse mental health, and significantly less confidence. And yet - here I am, a snack here, DoorDash there - when I get a craving for something I literally can’t think of anything else until I get it. Have I spent $22 on McDonalds delivery this month? Yes. Have I done it twice? Yes.
What the fuck, guys. Just, what the fuck. I feel like a failure and I don’t know what I need, but I clearly need something - some motivator - to help me keep kicking my own ass.
Anyways, thanks for reading - I just needed to vent.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/q6afcu/i_fell_off_the_wagon/
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