I want to take this of my chest tho I'm not sure this is the right place to share. I'm fucking jealous to the point I can't even stand myself. My cousin and I are the same age and our heaviest we've been is 80kg both, and overall we are so similar. They lost 25+ kg in about a little bit over a year. Now, I saw how much they struggled as they posted their journey on social media (we live in different cities). They came to visit last week and it was a world of a difference to see them in person, I couldn't help to get jealous to the point of almost being an hypocrite because at the same time I thought that they were admirable. At that moment I hated myself so much. And the thing is, I'm tired of making excuses for myself.
I want to loose weight to feel pretty, to be able to be comfortable in my own skin, to be able to run with my dogs without passing out from exhaustation. I saw myself at the mirror and it was such a sad sight.
It's true that I've been in a low point these past few years, but even now that I'm going to therapy I haven't made a true effort whatsoever to change. I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, I hate my self pity.
I saw a video recently that said that a healthy lifestyle is a marathon, not a sprint. I don't want to give up and I want to trust myself. I know that I don't have the motivation to do an effort most days, it doesn't come easy, but I can be disciplined (if only for a little). I really want to change, I am going to change.
If you read til this point I'm sorry for the rambling and also, please consider that english is not my first language. oh, and also thanks for reading.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/qbr15m/i_dont_want_my_selfpity/
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