Almost six years ago around the end of 2015 I saw a picture of myself at a wedding. I was overweight, bordering obese. I decided to get better. In 2016 I lost nearly 15kg(34lbs). CICO was the easiest thing ever at that time. Started with a struggle to finish 1k and in August of 2016 I ran a 10k in under 1 hour. I decided to register for a half marathon. In February 2017 I ran a half marathon in about 2hrs. Late 2017 I ran another half marathon. I had done it. I was feeling fit, ready to take on the world.
Then things happened. By early 2020 I was overweight again. And 2020 hit me like a freight truck. Had to travel half way across the globe for emergencies, multiple quarantines, my own surgeries, hospital visits, being stuck in a basement without being able to walk...etc. And I touched that obese BMI towards the end of 2020 for the first time ever in my life.
I also watched a documentary - Half ton man. It documented the lives of a few extremely obese people who lost incredible amounts of weight. But one story in particular, that of Michael Hebranko, hit me very hard. He was at a time among the heaviest people in the world. He then lost weight getting together with Simmons and held the record for most weight lost ever.
Then he gained it all back. And then some. He went to a weight over his previous highest weight. He spoke in the documentary about his struggles with food and how it is the same as other addictions.
I could relate to it. It was me although I'm no where close to anyone to him in weight- the swinging weight and the way he spoke about food especially resonated with me. I was overweight, lost weight, got fit, ran half marathons. Only to gain it all back and then some more. I'm obese now and gaining.
Ever since I watched that documentary and read the infamous article about how most who lost weight gain it all back I've felt completely disheartened. I can't pull myself back up.
Anytime I try to inspire myself, or read stories here I start feeling the same - what's the use I'm going to gain it all back anyway, might as well learn to live with it. And off late I've felt apathy towards the amazing stories here. Automatically I think everyone is going to gain it all back.
I hate myself everyday and I can't live with it but I can't stop binge eating and ordering in everyday.
Is there a way to get over this? Are we all doomed once we hit that obese and overweight categories?
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ofoq1l/completely_disheartened_and_demotivated_after_a/
No comments:
Post a Comment