F 20. 5'2.
For the longest time my goal had been 180. First goal of many I guess. Eventually get down to 160. Then a healthy weight. But I just so badly wanted to see 180.
And I finally did it. Though I will admit, I wasn't in a good mind set. My father had recently passed, and these antipsychotic/antidepressant meds I had gotten prescribed made it impossible to eat. I wasn't happy or in a healthy place. But it was nice to finally see that number and feel happier with what I was seeing in the mirror.
Within a month though, I had gained 20 pounds back. Luckily I'm just under 200 still. But that much weight.. that fast.. I don't even know how it happened... I knew I started snacking too much, but I didn't think I had gotten that far... over snacking turned into binging though, I guess... something I hadn't done since a few months prior..
And now I've just been maintaining. And it's hard to get the weight off. Hard to get back on the track of progress. I slipped up and binged once and now I feel like I'm caught up in the shitty cycle again. I've been more depressed than I have been in awhile. And as much as I'd like to blame it on life and the stress, it's really just me. Nothing else to blame.
But damn I'm so close to my goals!!! So close to finally overcoming so much. I want to be healthy. Mind, body, and soul. I want to be happy. And not just because of the number on the scale, but I want to fall back in love with myself. Hating yourself is exhausting. I've been trying to be patient with myself, but it's overdue to get back on track. I have to hold myself more accountable.
I guess that's why I'm finally making an account and posting. Time to finally actually join the reddit weightloss community. Surround myself with positive like minded people. Keep myself on track. This is the last time.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/otwsze/triggered_hitting_my_goal_weight/
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