Mods, I’m not 100% sure if this is ok but I don’t know where else to turn. Could you please allow me to keep this up?
I’ve been following this community a long time and it’s so helpful, I love the progress posts, the tips, the support. It’s such a kind and caring place!
I’m 130lbs and 5’4, at 33F I’ve been desperately wanting to get back to my size that I was in my 20s (115lbs.) it’s not a huge change but I’ve been finding it impossible. I shift from 130->138->125->130 again. I can’t seem to get stay stable.
And that’s where my worries come in. I’ve become aware that my mindset and eating habits are becoming a little worrying. For example, this last year and a half I’ve been feeling immense guilt over food that I haven’t felt before. I will eat a pizza and hate myself for it for the rest of the day for screwing up my progress.
I’ve been punishing myself with my appearance too, for example I will wear nothing but baggy tops and leggings until I get to my goal weight. I buy clothes too small for me to motivate me. I refuse to make a true effort until the weight is off.
As for food, I’ve been cutting carbs strictly, trying intermittent fasting and having just one proper meal a day (and a small lunch which might make me feel a little guilty afterwards.) I’m hungry a lot but as soon as I “ruin the progress” I will spiral into eating all the crap and then feeling guilt and shame again.
It started with just wanting to lose 15-18lbs but I’m becoming so obsessed with it, as if until I lose that weight I am disgusting and don’t deserve to dress nicely.
How can I change these habits and lose these lbs in a healthy way? I don’t want an eating disorder.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ot6z2j/im_a_little_nervous_i_have_developed_an_eating/
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