Unpicking the mental baggage

Hi

I 25F 5ft 3inches start weight 237.6 lbs current weight 234.4 lbs.

Since starting this LIFESTYLE change iv been thinking about why food makes me so dang guilty when i eat supposed bad foods or carbs . I had the aha moment of my mother , my whole childhood i watched her obsessively diet in which she lost weight as if she was on a diet me and my dad were to then for her to get bored of said diet quit put weight back on and so the cycle restarts.

Watching that as a child who used to be hollowed legged ( i miss those days lol ) in which family encouraged me to eat allot and my father on days out without my mother would let me eat adult amounts of anything i wanted didnt not know the mental damage they were causing .

I say mental damage as when i moved out at 18 with my partner who doesnt care much bout food just edible is his criteria , did i start getting to my current weight as i over indulged in take outs and banned foods .

I think if i stayed at home much longer i could of devolved a ED as the way food was (probably still is ) treated isnt healthy .

At one point i did lose all the weight at the time around 45lbs but that was through exercise alone i still had a crappy diet .

Of course I put that weight back on and then some because it was a diet not maintainable or sensible or safe , so now im changing my lifestyle starting with 1500cals a day reducing salt .

Once im used to the 1500 il be making small changes to a even healthier diet but still eating through some December treats .

The point of this post was to ask for any books websites podcasts that can help me unpick the unhealthy and damaging information thoughts and judgments on food.

I would like to say i have no contact with my family due to many many many reasons which will help me lose weight in a healthy way as again its a LIFESTYLE change not a diet .

Thank you for reading and thank you in advance for any resources mentioned .

submitted by /u/tryingtobeaskinnypig
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/l2jmdn/unpicking_the_mental_baggage/