Making the change.. Again.

I've lost 53 lbs in 3 months. I'm not new to fitness. I was a Jiu jitsu athlete for about 4 years and did muay thai and tae kwon do as well, but bjj was and will always be my favorite. What's interesting to note is that before I started martial arts, I was well over 400 lbs. When I was a young man I coped with my severe depression and suicidal thoughts with food, alcohol, drugs, anything I could that will wreck your body. I decided to change and got very interested in martial arts. I had already lost some weight before joining my local mma gym but I was still very big. No one thought I would last long there. Before you knew it, I was down to >180 lbs and very athletic, until a friend of mine jumped guard on me in training and took my knee out. Docs kept saying it was bursitis or they didn't know and I'd have to see a specialist, but I couldn't train. I also couldn't afford to see a specialist. I couldn't even afford to see the regular doc lol. I gave up hope on my martial arts dreams and in doing so gave up hope on myself. Got into a greatly abusive relationship for 2 years and gained over 100 lbs (my fault, but she was a bitch and just wanted to add that in). 297 lbs was my heaviest weigh in at the gym about 4 months ago. As of yesterday I've lost 53 pounds and I still have a long way to go but there is no finish line. Never was and never will be. Don't let anyone tell you that something is impossible. I've done "impossible" multiple times in my life already. No such fucking thing. And fuck what people have to say or may or may not think of you too. Also, self love is great, but don't be afraid to kick your own ass and even be downright cruel to yourself if it's absolutely necessary. You might wonder "when tf is that necessary" you'll know when you reach that point. Listen to yourself but know how to differentiate between necessity and weakness. Sometimes you just gotta send it.

Much love. Christopher.

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