Lately I've been thinking a lot about what has caused my horrible relationship with food and I've been really interested in learning about what influences other people's eating habits.
Now for me, I remember I used to be a very intuitive eater as a child. How do I know? Well, I don't remember ever even thinking about food - it almost seems like it didn't exist in my childhood - and I stayed a very normal, thin child.
However, I grew up in a really problematic, abusive household and it really messed with me in more than just one way. Being abused and often times left to my own devises, I found myself developing a horrible sense of worthlessness and loneliness even when very young. When it came to food, my mum never made sure I had anything to it before nor at school and I never had school lunches either, so every day I went without eating till around 4-5pm after I came home. As you can imagine, this would normally make me incredibly hungry at school and then I would go on to basically binge eat as soon as I got home. I also started spending all the pocket money I had on all sorts of junk food.
What also didn't help was trying to lose weight as a teen. I remember my father and a few other family members making comments on me getting 'chunky', even though I was a very slim child and teen. I didn't actually live with my father, as my parents had seperate families and I only saw him about once a month, so getting these comments every single time I visited was quite stressful. And so yes, I started dieting and counting my calories obsessively (I only gave myself a limit of 1000 cal a day and walked and ran with my dog 2hrs a day at least). I remember once I broke down crying because I went over my calories by 20. Now this period of time didn't last particularly long, a few months at most, but I believe it has done a lot of damage - I started binge eating like crazy.
It's been a long time, but it took me until last year to actually fix my relationship with food and understand how to be someone I would call a competent eater. Aged 21, I now know what to avoid when I have children of my own.
How about you all?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/l1v58z/how_did_your_problems_with_food_start/
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