All my life I’ve always been “thick”. Even when back in high school when I was on two swim teams exercising for 4 hours a day I was never below 170. Granted I realize now it’s because I ate a lot of crap all the time.
After I graduated my mental health tanked and I found myself at my highest weight ever, 242. I hated myself, then developed an eating disorder after about a year and picked up a bad smoking habit to curb my hunger. I went from 242 to about 180, roughly 62 pounds. I maintained this weight for a while even after I recovered from my ed and quit smoking.
Then quarantine hit, and I find myself back in the two hundreds at 208. I’m tired of being this way and hating myself for it. There’s no excuses left for me now, I’m determined to get down to 150.
I quit soda about a week ago, which is a huge accomplishment for me considering I was drinking 3-4 a day. I started logging calories in my fitness pal, I’m trying to stay around 1200 a day. I walk for about an hour each day or two miles total, but I have plans to increase that when I get better winter clothes. Tomorrow I get a scale so I can hold myself accountable each week.
I hope my motivation lasts through the rough periods. If all goes well I want to hit my goal weight by my 23rd birthday in May.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/jxlf46/im_tired_of_hating_myself/
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