TW: ED
Last year I developed an eating disorder and, while I've managed to get over it, my relationship with food, eating, and body image has still never completely recovered. In the months following my return to normal eating I gained back the weight I lost during my ED and then some. (Note in case this is triggering: I didn't lose a lot during the ED because my metabolism slowed to a crawl. EDs aren't worth it.)
Now I want to lose 25 pounds and I'm at a loss. I've tried different diets/fasting regimens but they've always been too intense and ended up hurting me, even though I was trying to be healthy about it. I don't have the willpower to be hungry anymore. My ED and some of my diet fads have made it so that hunger causes me great stress. My brain quickly goes into "oh fuck we're starving" mode and eating makes me feel calm again.
I'm so tired of not feeling at home in my own body. I hate that I have to eat. I wish I could take appetite suppressants but I don't think I can afford them. I'd try something unhealthy if it could give me that "calm" food gives or make me feel nauseous all the time or SOMETHING, but I feel like I'm running out of options. I have a chronic illness that makes exercise impossible right now, which makes losing weight that much harder.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/joda7i/how_can_i_repair_my_relationship_with_food/
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