Lesson 1: Remember these 4 myths
• Change is easy.
We all wish it was easy, but unfortunately the reality is different. Most resolutions die pretty quickly after the start of the new year. The point is what to do if that first sprint of ideas, enthusiasm and possibly guidance disappear. Because if you follow a few solid setbacks at work (a reorganization) or privately (disagreement with a close relationship), you will soon find a foolproof recipe for relapse behavior.
• Nothing works, I tried everything
Perhaps you think with certain tools and techniques that you find on this website: yes, but I have already tried all of that.
The key question is not whether you have tried something. The key question is whether you applied the technique at the right time and whether you applied the technique often enough.
It is a matter of timing and frequency.
• People don't really change.
The studies underlying these articles (see also justification) demonstrate this. More than thousands of individuals have changed successfully. That's a fact.
What you often don't see on the sidelines is that the road has mostly been bumps. Relapse is very likely part of the change process, and it can take years before you leave unwanted behavior behind.
• It's about Willpower
You may be surprised to learn that the biggest misconception of people who want to change is that they overestimate willpower. Although willpower is important, it is by no means sufficient, just take a look at exactly how willpower works as part of the mental aspect of losing weight . You can keep your motivation a lot better with that knowledge in your weight loss intentions.
Lesson 2: Link between wanting and doing: Behavior
I already mentioned it at the introduction. Our behavior is the weak link between what you want (target weight, different lifestyle, healthier eating, being more assertive, quitting smoking) and what you get or do.
Behavior is all our actions that we demonstrate. So what you actually do. Think of how you drive your car (driving behavior), how you interact with other people you encounter (social or perhaps antisocial behavior), or how often and what you put in your mouth (eating behavior).
A large part of your behavior is formed by the direct stimulus that follows. If that is positive and gives a nice feeling ('pleasure' or 'comfort'), you are more likely to show that behavior again. If that is a negative stimulus and immediately leads to an unpleasant feeling ('pain or discomfort), that behavior will probably not occur. Following this pain or pleasure experience, a (pleasure) or no (pain) link is created in our brain. If the stimulus occurs again in the future, the behavior automatically follows.
Example: if you brake late before the traffic light, and you experience that as a feeling of nice and active driving, there is a good chance that you will automatically start braking at some point as soon as you encounter a traffic light (stimulus).
For a strong link, the pain or pleasure experience must immediately follow the stimulus (seconds), so a few hours or days later is insufficient. That only creates a very weak bond. If you have eaten two weeks less and have lost weight because of that, it will not lead to a strong link. You are very aware of cause and effect, but that is too difficult for your brain.
Incidentally, this 'rewarding' and 'punishing' is very subtle.
All in all, over the years your behavior has been consciously and unconsciously conditioned by everything you have experienced so far. If you are very overweight, this probably has to do with your eating and sports behavior.
Lesson 3: There is conscious and unconscious behavior
Most psychologists agree that there are two types of behavior: conscious, planned, behavior and unconscious , automatic, behavior. It is estimated that no less than 90% of our behavior is unconscious. So we display that behavior without realizing it. That is quite a lot.
It is not necessarily wrong that we do so much on autopilot. Life becomes quite complex if we had to do everything consciously.
Take driving as an example. Perhaps you can still remember yourself when you took driving lessons? Remember the first time you drove up the highway. Men, that was exciting, and fast! After the driving lessons you were probably quite exhausted because you had to pay so much attention (awareness!) To drive around safely in the car.
If you have been driving around for a while, you probably experience it very differently now. In fact, we drive so much on autopilot that we often pass whole stretches without realizing it. You daydream a little and are 30 or 50 kilometers away.
In any case, to change unconscious behavior you will have to get it above the water level. You will have to consciously pay attention to it. Did you know that one of the primary roles of a coach is to promote your awareness? Not surprising when you see that most of your behavior is 'underwater'. More awareness also helps you live better .
Unconscious beliefs: Which glasses do you wear
Much of your behavior stems from your views and views of the world. The way you look at the world is formed by years of conditioning. Because of what happened in your youth, through experiences with your parents, at school, during training and or at work. Experiences you have gained in good times and bad.
All these experiences lead to you having an image of the world. You have formed glasses with which you look into the world. Unconscious beliefs underlie these glasses.
Unconscious beliefs lead to automatic behavior. Behavior you may want to avoid.
Lesson 4: Losing hurts, so also change (a little)
We put in a lot more effort not to lose something while we don't put in that much effort to earn something (even if it is the same thing). You are likely willing to work much harder to keep your current home with a mortgage and not have to return to a small dorm room than you are willing to work hard to own a triple the size house you have now.
So loss aversion also applies to behavior. You can have a lot of motivation to lose weight, you will have to lose old eating behavior. While you may know you shouldn't be eating that chocolate bar or peanut butter jar, it still gives you a nice, comfortable and familiar feel at the time. You can better maintain your motivation when losing weight if you identify this kind of unwanted but nice behavior.
Loss of the familiar makes you insecure, because the future does not seem as sure as before. It is good to be aware of this feeling of loss, because then you can try to be above it. If you discover that you are insecure because you are going to lose old known behavior, you can pay more attention to your self-confidence. Self confidence is always a good basis for success.
Summarizing :
People dislike loss
Responsible weight loss means change, which goes hand in hand with the loss of unhealthy old behavior
You are not your old behavior: accept that you can say goodbye to old behavior.
Build your confidence if you find yourself suffering from loss aversion.
Lesson 5: How your behavior changes (and holds motivation)
In America, researchers have scrutinized thousands of people. These were people with behavioral change goals such as quitting smoking or losing weight. All these people ended up successfully reaching their goals.
Researchers found that all these people go through phases in their change process. These are also called the Stages Of Change or stages of change of three men who are professors, psychologists and researchers: James O. Prochaska, John C. Norcross and Carlo C. Diclemente.
The stages or steps are as follows:
step or phase 1 the denial phase (I have no problem at all)
step or phase 2: consider the change (maybe it's time for a change)
step or phase 3: the preparation phase (how am I going to do it)
step or phase 4: the action phase (implement those plans):
step or phase 5: maintenance phase (keep the changes).
Actually, there is a sixth step or phase, the termination phase, but changers rarely reach it. A form of maintenance remains necessary years after the change.
The researchers also determined that anyone can ultimately be a successful self-change agent. You can keep your motivation on point during the whole change process of losing weight or lifestyle change. It is not easy but with the right tools and techniques you greatly increase your chances.
If you want to change your lifestyle, you also go through those phases. Everyone goes through that at their own pace. That rate likely ranges from one week to six months per phase, while the maintenance phase can last for years. During each phase, there are certain tools that you can pay attention to working in a sensible way to the next phase.
There are many techniques in the country of change. Originally, you receive these kinds of techniques in counseling sessions of therapists and psychologists.
These techniques are also ideal for 'healthy' people to implement desired changes in the field of your lifestyle and behavior. You can also see this when supervising and developing top managers in the business world.
What is handy about the techniques from the Stages of Change is that it separates the wheat from the chaff a bit and supports an integral approach. So not only the acupuncture X, or the method Y that will be your solution, but an integral approach where you influence different aspects of your life in order to go step by step through a steady but sustainable change. And maybe acupuncture X or method Y fits very well in your personal plan.
Lesson 6: For the dropout: What eater are you?
Did you know there are three types of eaters? The psychologist and professor Tatjana van Strien, known in the Netherlands, has recognized on the basis of various studies that eaters have certain preferences. As soon as characteristic circumstances arise, these eaters are most likely to lapse into unwanted behavior. Everyone will recognize themselves in certain sizes in all three types, but you probably have a clear preference.
Miss Tatjana's studies are widely supported. In 1985 she made the Dutch Eating Behavior Questionnaire (NVE) and it is not only regarded in the Netherlands. It is a questionnaire that is used worldwide under the name of Dutch Eating Behavior Questionnaire (DEBQ). From the questionnaire you can determine what type of eater you are:
Type 1: The emo-eater . Eats itself in sadness. Stress leads to overeating.
Type 2: The external eater : eat when there is food. External stimuli lead to overeating.
Type 3: The dieter , also called the yo-yo.
By knowing what type of eater you are, you can better protect yourself against overeating. With that protection you can better maintain your motivation to lose weight. If you are an emo-eater, for example, the condition for success of your attempt to lose weight is insight into the psychological background of the eating problems that have led to obesity.
The most important thing you can learn by determining with the NVE what kind of eater you are is whether following a traditional calorie-restricted diet is likely to succeed or whether you need to pay more attention to behavior.
Lesson 7: Do you want or do you choose? How proactive are you ..
You may ask yourself:
do I want to change?
Or
Do I choose to change?
You choose your change and you choose not to do other things. You choose to say no more often, you choose your goals.
Do you see and feel how the demand shifts to another level?
When we talk about wanting it quickly looks like ' I want, I want, I want'. It is almost an expression of passivity. I want … and now it all has to happen by itself. It also activates the abstract part of your brain more. The world is different with a magic staff. Nope.
While when you talk about choosing, you are talking about being the initiator yourself. Make your own choices and set your own priorities. Leaving one for the other because you choose it, because you are proactive. The first characteristic of effective leadership. For example, you choose to apply techniques from the phases of change because you know that you will be able to better maintain your motivation during and after losing weight.
Extremely powerful. Occasionally ask yourself the question: what do I choose? Do I really consciously choose that?
Another tip if you show a lot of procrastination. At Defense, there was a typical position that regularly came up when coaching men and women. Not making a choice or making a decision is also a choice, but often not the right one.
And it is right, choosing takes effort.
Lesson 8: You should leave your comfort zone
If you avoid new situations, stick to undesirable behavior and avoid anything new, you stay too much in your comfort zone. If you really want to stay motivated to lose or change, you have to move forward with your goals. That means that every now and then you have to close your eyes and jump into the deep end. I don't need to explain this further because the video below explains what I mean by that🙂
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