Finding motivation will be the hardest part in what I do moving forward.
I'm acutely aware of the multitude of risks which being this weight holds, I am not stupid. And yet, despite this... despite knowing I could develop diabetes (which already runs in the family), suffer a heart attack, end up in a wheelchair, with amputated limbs, etc., I still struggle to find any motivation to finally get on my damn way with this epic weight loss journey. Of course when I think of the amount to be lost (ideally 280-300lbs) I'm overwhelmed, but it's more than that... it's as if though I'm just indifferent, and I hate that about myself. I've already lived with countless side-effects stemming from being this size/weight... all of my joints and muscles are constantly sore, I'm always short of breath, always sweating, and really any number of awful physical ailments. But worst of all is the way it's messed me up psychologically, and left me out from experiencing all sorts of necessary developmental milestones throughout my earlier life. I'm just in a shit mood all the time and often shitty to those close to me, but worst, being held back from all my potential and realizing my dreams. I won't go into the endless amount of ways it's messed up my head, because that'll be (hopefully) for a mental health professional to help me work through at some point (though I've already seen one for three years previously, albeit for other reasons). That said, I suppose that what I'm seeking here today is directly related to mental health.
Motivation.
How did those of you who were faced with a similar journey ahead of you find it? I'm especially curious to hear from those who were stubborn like myself- that is, if there's anyone else out there for whom risk of dying wasn't enough to light the fire under their ass.
And secondly, how did you do it? How should I do it? I've read the quick start guides in this sub and other ones, and think that IF will be the way I do this. 18:6 to start, maybe OMAD once or twice a week thrown in, and maybe even a 24 hour fast every other week? But see... I know what I need to do... it's just that that integral spark which will get me from this phase of outlining what all I have to do and actually doing it is missing. I've tried and failed with diets so many times before, and know I need to view it as more than just diet... "it's a lifestyle change". I know that, but still have such a hard time actually leaving this life behind, even though I know that the one which hopefully awaits me will be infinitely better in every possible way. The lure of eating garbage is just too great. My diet has absolutely no semblance of regularity. I have eaten without consequence since as far back as I can remember. There is no three square meals a day, or certain amount of calories here. I have always eaten whatever I've wanted, whenever I've wanted. And yes, I know I need to re-wire my brain and its reward system... the way it gets dopamine hits... because currently, that comes from two awful sources; essentially binge eating, and spending money I don't have (therefore going further and further into debt) buying very expensive things which I absolutely don't need. Two awful habits, which have proven to be near impossible to break- it's all so much easier said than done... but I want to commit this time. I just need the spark damn it. Look at me... I'm desperate for a great big change... yet this asshole part of me just wants to hijack everything, and continue sabotaging me, not allowing me to flourish. I've already wasted so much of my precious time on this earth. I don't want to waste anymore. Please help me.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/hyla8y/im_30_years_old_and_weigh_500lbs_my_life_has_been/
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