With so many people starting anew and feeling the pain in this process, I feel like there's a concept that needs talking about. There was this meme someone posted. I won't go into detail because it was mean spirited and hurtful as hell. But it got a phrase stuck in my head: "The Effortless Is"
It's what you are. The thing that you are without trying to be, the effortless quintessence that comes from existing in your natural state. Now this meme was ranting about how people trying to change (a state of perpetual "becoming") can never be happy no matter what, that they'll never reach that place where they just "are". But that's bullshit. Because, as I realized recently, I've gotten there. It's just not the Is that I was looking for, at least not yet!
I am strong. I am muscular. I am a gym addict. I am a guy whose vacation fantasies always involve taking the time to pump iron and then soak in a hot tub. That became my "Is" at some point, and I don't really know the moment I stopped trying to become this person and simply began existing as him. It was gradual, took me three years to get where I am now, different phases and different projects working on myself, and there's more to do still.
I haven't reached my final goal yet, and even when I do it's gonna take a long time of grinding it out and maintaining my lower weight before I reach that natural place. And it hurts. It hurts like fuck. A thousand thousand knives in my brain, pain screaming at me that I'll never be that guy. Some days I can't block out the pain and it eats me up, but it's important to remember that the pain is part of the process. It's supposed to hurt so that you know how hard it will be to do it all over again, how important it is to hold on to what you've earned. Transition into a new being involves flaying off all of what you are, and it's not surprising that that blows. It blows a lot, yo.
Get there, stay there, and when you finish the becoming, remember to keep holding on until you don't feel the strain anymore. That's the Effortless Is that we're all seeking here.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ekaf7y/the_effortless_is_and_the_pain_of_the_transition/
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