I have been wanting to post on here the past few weeks but don’t end up posting whatever I write. Firstly I am a 5’3” 25 year old female, mum of two and experiencing severe depression. I have recently started taking a new medication and am planning to see a new psych soon. I have struggled with my weight for the past 7 years and unfortunately hit my new highest weight of 105kg (231lbs).
I know how to lose the weight, I’ve done it before but unfortunately something will ultimately knock me down and I lose all progress. Getting out of bed and just getting ready for the day takes a lot out of me mentally. Physically I feel heavy and slow, I’m always tired and I don’t feel like eating. Ultimately, because I don’t eat or want to eat i don’t make myself food. I end up going to the shops and turning to my comfort foods instead, even if I’ve got a perfectly good sandwich or leftovers at home. Yesterday I ended up having half a packet of chips, 600ml flavoured milk, mac n cheese, block of chocolate and 1.25lt coke. That was it, I felt gross and wasn’t even really craving any of it but it’s what I bought anyway. I struggle with binge eating and food addiction, it is something I’ve discussed with family/doctor/dietician in the past.
I’m feeling lost and scared, I don’t know how to get myself under control. I can’t keep gaining weight, the more I gain the more I have to lose. Has anyone had a similar experience? Any advice? I know that the key is to just get up off my ass, avoid my trigger foods, cook at home and track my calories. But mentally this is such a battle, it’s like I’m stuck or drowning. Nonetheless I just needed to get this out of my head and hopefully have someone respond. I feel like there is no one around me (besides my husband) that I can open up to.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ewh0zm/need_to_open_up_about_my_struggle/
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