So, I have been maintaining my weight for over a year now, I have gone through the most impactful year of my life and it has been extremely turbulent. I was -100 in 6 or 7 months, got up to -80 but am now in the middle. I am proud I was able to do that.
I have ADHD and motivation is notoriously difficult for us even when medicated. Even with appetite suppression from my Adderall I just didn't have a reason to actually care, as much as it would make my life better I didn't feel like I had anything to fight for until recently.
I am big into trauma psychology, this is due to my own severe experience with trauma. It is such an amazing tool for helping others though. I always knew a friend of mine had a terrible past, a horrific one in all honesty. Mine was terrible and in such a hostile environment (on top of a specific traumatic experience) that I would cope with eating. I have autism and was a social outcast, to fill a void I would eat but that would lead to a feedback loop, it was inevitable this would happen. But their past, I can't describe how bad it was.
I have been through almost 9 years of therapy, I am proud (which is rare for me) about being smart as hell. I have learned so many skills on top of having done a few years of psych in college (dropped out due to motivation, too) but I would never consider myself a psychologist without a license. But what this does do is allow me to help my friend's lives massively through working on their traumas. We both did MDMA psychotherapy, I was there both times for them and helped them through it after I tried it myself on my own. This was after the impact on my PTSD- neither of us have the money to participate in studies so this was a great choice.
I heard a lot, but a lot more came up recently. Six hours of helping them through relive their traumas, this wasn't MDMA as well. They also listened to me. I utilized my skills to the fullest to actually let them heal instead of feel better in the moment like what most people do. Even if their intentions are good it is only short term. Both of us went into detail on memories, both of us remembering so much we couldn't go into detail about all of them, but talking about the occassional one was able to allow us to feel our unadulterated emotions while realizing how our trauma impacted us today.
Seeing my friend's struggle, hearing all that they went through and all of the consequences of their struggle was very painful for me. I know they felt the same way for me. I have beaten most of my PTSD symptoms and their's have gone down massively but they still have a long way to go. I don't want to leave them to struggle on their own, I want to be there to fight with them to show them how much they have impacted me- let them see their impact on other people can be so significant. Words are one thing, but I want to show them while transforming with them. Both of us have our issues but they have given me so much motivation through a light at the end of the tunnel being shown to me as well as a reason to continue fighting.
That night was the most impactful one of my life- I can't fall off of this, I put more effort into other people than myself and I have zero doubt if I put a similar amount of effort to myself I will get there in close to a year. My motivation is fighting with them and inspiring them as well, I haven't had so much confidence in my life and last time I had a large amount I lost 100lbs incredibly quickly. I know I wont fall off again.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ewhk63/finally_found_motivation_and_losing_weight_again/
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