20F here. I just want to vent and figured this would be the best place to do it.
I’ve managed to get myself down from 97kg/213lb to currently 73kg/160lb over the past 4 years. Last year in May was when I actually successfully changed my eating habits (started using Myfitnesspal to track my intake and taught myself a lot about food) and I saw the most progress, which has been incredible. I finally have a BMI in the normal range!
December was a really hard month and I kind of relapsed back into overeating every day, and I’m still struggling to get back to my healthier eating habits I developed last year. I’ve gained a few pounds from my lowest weight at the beginning of the holiday period (70kg/154lb), which I know isn’t a huge deal but I’ve felt pretty stressed about it. I’m kind of terrified I won’t be able to get back on track fast enough and I’ll undo all my progress.
I know it’s bad for me, but sometimes I just really miss overeating. It’s hard to process the fact that, in order to remain at a healthy weight, I’ll have to resist the urge to eat too much every day for my entire life. I do let myself indulge on special occasions and have cheat meals once a week or so to keep myself sane, but sometimes I really fucking miss stuffing my face every day and not just every once in a while.
I miss how it felt to truly be full to the point of discomfort, and to not be aware of how many calories I was eating and the damage I was doing to my body. It’s really fucking hard to only eat a little bit of food every day, compared to what I used to eat in the past, and to rarely ever feel completely satisfied and full. And it’s hard knowing that these new eating habits aren’t just temporary and I won’t ever be able to go back to my old ones once I’ve lost all the weight.
Losing weight and having an overall successful journey thus far has made me so happy and confident, and realistically I know I’ll be okay eventually and it’ll get easier as the years go by, but right now it’s so hard and the urge to overeat hasn’t really lessened at all. Some days it’s tempting to just give up and give in and let myself eat whatever I want and just accept being overweight, but I know how unhappy I’d be if I did that, so I won’t let myself.
To anyone else struggling, hang in there.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/euy66v/i_really_miss_overeating/
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