I’m an active 24 yo woman, (5’9” 169lbs) and I cannot seem to lose these last 15 pounds due to disordered eating. I have gotten my life together after years of mental health issues and addiction only to find that I still struggle to control myself with food. When I binge, my mind goes blank and I eat until I’m in pain.
The dining halls at my school are open most hours of the day and are full of cruddy foods. I could go 40 times a day and eat nothing but cookies and French fries if I felt like it, no one would stop me. To fight against this lack of control I’ve fasted for up to 4 days countless times while being at school, because when I stick to something I do it entirely, but that leaves me with an all or nothing mentality. Fasting is a nice reset but it also makes me more obsessive.
Right now I’m on a real exercise kick, running, rowing, yoga but I feel like I am ruining everything with my inability to moderate my eating. I’m a real perfectionist and if I feel like I’ve “ruined” a meal I’ll count on remedying it tomorrow and binge.
I really want to figure this out. I used to write everything down but calorie counting made my crazy, intuitive eating leads me to overthink ironically enough, and going fully vegan or paleo or keto is only a bandaid.
It’s not that my BODY is super unhealthy, although I’m overweight, but my mind is obsessive and I’m so sad that I can’t get to where I know I deserve to be.
Any insight would be so helpful. I feel really self conscious of both my eating and my body right now. I appreciate you all.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/elma2i/college_student_struggling_with_bingestarve_cycle/
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