Aka I did all the things one must not do to lose weight.
LONG POST.
Before I begin, I must clarify one thing- I'm absolutely proud of all of you, regardless of what weight you have lost, gained, lost again or maintained.
Someone must be a guinea pig for sh*tty diets and that, ladies and gentlemen, was me. Take this as a warning experience and definitely a demonstration of how (not to) lose weight. A lil background, 21 y/o, 5 ft 4' CW:56kg.
Flash back to October 2020, what were you up to? Let me tell you about me, I was obsessed in the worst way with the people who looked skinny and pretty and their stats.
So, I started exercising. The only thing I knew. Remind you, that I wasn't over weight anytime in my damn life but had gained weight being at home. I exercised for 3 freaking hours every day, at a stretch, Chloe Ting vids on repeat and Hiits.
But, muscle still weighs and me, who knew nothing about NSV, was so desperate to see the scale go down. Then, I started eating less, so less that I was eating an orange a day, and just black coffee. I dropped kgs that way. But, I slept all day, had no energy to do any thing and swear to god I was so irritated the whole time.
But, the scale gets to your head when that's all you rely on. Forward to January, I eat nothing for three days before my B'day because I knew, I was going to eat out. My classes were on, my finals were scheduled, and I am a med. Student (the irony), but all I could think about was how to eat less and not gain wait. I reached 48kg. A single kg fluctuations would make me so depressed that I felt meaningless. Studies, friends, family everything- everything had taken a back seat. It was just me and this hunger and how to lose and disappear.
Then, it started. The repercussions. Mentally depressed and alone and unsure and unworthy. I had lost all my magic, my hope, my happiness. I was a good student, I was an excellent friend, I was a speaker, a debater, a reader. I was so much more than just my weight.
But, now I was just underweight and unhappy. The worst thing was, nobody saw that. My friends told me i looked great but too thin, my grandma called me to say, that she cried when she saw that I had lost so much weight.
I wanted to lose so much more, I was so close, but I couldn't stop binging, I stole my roommates cookies, I eat raisins a tin full of them. I tried Laxatives and drank like sh*t tons of coffee and tried to puke, I was so scared of food, but it haunted me. Something so inanimate so menial could be a nightmare.
Then the real bad stuff hit - had a bad case of dermatitis on face, then caught Covid in April and then, injured my tail bone this June. I cannot sit properly rn. And guess what? I gained almost all my weight back and the cycle of hate has started again. I hope this time I know better.
LET THIS SERVE AS A CAUTIONARY TALE TO ALL. I MIGHT NOT HAVE FOUND THE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT PATH BUT ALL I KNOW IS, THIS IS NOT THE WAY.
I'm sorry if I offended, triggered anybody - I was never my intention, but I am so inspired how you lose weight in a healthy manner, that you do it the hard way and make it stay. I hope I will learn. I want to.
💛
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/oiy6rn/i_am_so_jealous_of_all_of_you_who_lose_weight_and/
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