I've gained and lost a ton of weight over the years, but currently approaching my diet and exercise with a health focus, rather than an aesthetic one. For once it's not about how I'm perceived, just about what I want my body to be able to do, and how I want to feel- and for the first time it feels like a positive experience rather than punishing myself for being unattractive and trying to "earn" the social benefits that come from being thin.
Been making steady progress, not nearly as fast as the days of crash diets and phentermine and 30 hours a week in the gym, but more gentle and reliable.
Yesterday wasn't the first time I bought gasoline without grabbing a candy bar, but it was the first time I didn't have a big internal battle about it. Walked past those shelves just like the ones holding motor oil or whatever and only realized like an hour later that I'd spent a little less cash than usual.
Makes me hopeful that perhaps someday most of the healthy choices will feel automatic. I've often noted to friends, shrinks and nutritionists how weird it is that only disordered eaters and pro athletes carefully plan and log every bite, and wondered how "normal" people got away with not having to do it. This one moment was like a glimpse of how a day full of positive habits might feel. I liked it.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/jxgddf/tiny_nsv_i_forgot_to_buy_the_junk_food_at_the_gas/
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